What do you say when. . .

[Flo]

Hanging out with Americans I always get hassled because I'm Canadain. I don't mind it in fact I love it. I've gotten pretty good at coming up with little things to retort back to them when they bash Canada---they're just jealous is all. I got stumped though. When they call Canada the 52 State I draw a blank. My childish side shows up and I call them things like "Stupid Yankee"----what the? have any good ideas???
Flo

[stickman]

52 state reply.

That's what we want you to think. Remember we burned down the white house once, we can do it again.

Stickman
Http://www.weeble.org

[Peter Voice]

Oh Canada, the 51st state of America, the state you'd like to live in, you know, stuff is cheaper, no handguns, but gee, they're so nice it's a bit hard to keep up isn't it.

Considering some of the histories you can find in libraries if you look perhaps North Mexico (remember Amerigo) might really want to stay away from the Mate (sorry can't do the accent) and other hibernating bears.

You could also consider the "Louisianna Purchase", and what Nth Mexico paid for Alaska, inflation over a couple of hundred years, and then negotiate. Surely Canada is worth more than a few billion and there is not that many of you. Take the $10/20m each (make sure it's in your favorite foreign currency) and leave it to Murdock and the ice-hockey/football/baseball/tennis skiing skating dudes, sponsored by Pepsi or Coke. What would Toronto be worth if you all took your money and ran. They'd pay you again to come back.

One way or another, if you're performing there's a hat line.

PS Think carefully, if you think Australia would be a good place to come with your 10/20m, we seem to be lined up as #53.

[ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[Triona]

Being from the states I have one statement...

Round bacon, what's up with that????? confused.gif

[ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Triona ]</p>

[young raoul]

two little words - aerosol cheese
a canadian would never have come up with that...

mmmmm...baaaaacon

[le pire]

speaking of canadian bacon: Pamela Anderson... yeah, she's canadian, but made in america!!!


é t i e n n e

[Triona]

Ah raoul, but it's not cheese, it's non-dairy product.... biggrin.gif

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,

LDR

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[Triona]

No LDR we're not bullies. We just don't put up with little shits that think they can push us around. We would have just blown the country off the face of the earth if we wanted to be bullies.

[jonnyflash]

What's up with all this anti-americanism? These pinko faggots should get bombed back into the stone age.
Don't these shrill cowards get it?
Everyone knows that America the Proud is #1!!!
Why, of the industrialized countries, America is:

Number One in the number of citizens in prison (2 million)
Number one in illiteracy
Number one at failing to provide medical coverage to her sick & injured
Number one war economy, with a HUGE % of GDP for all things war-like.
Number One in the destabilization and overthrow of elected governments around the globe.
Number One in obesity
Number One of governments getting caught dealing crack in their own nation: http://www.guerrillanews.com/crack/qt_hi.html

Can there be any doubt that America is Number One? Yay America We Can Do It! wink.gif

[Triona]

Yes and because of the 1ST Amendment, you can bash the country too!

Proud to be an American!

[Flo]

OH CANADA,
OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND
TRUE PATRIOT LOVE
IN ALL OUR SONS COMMAND!

aerosol cheese---I like that!
oooo; how bout aresol cheese AND round bacon together! Two countries merging together their culinary diffences. <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[Triona]

Flo,

That thought is just too horrible to contemplate.....

Next it will be Spam and god knows what!

eek.gif

[Flo]

Spam and ketchup flavoured chips!

. . . that would be rather wretched wouldn't it?

[Triona]

Yeah, my son didn't even like those chips and I've caught him drinking ketchup from the bottle! <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[Rich Potter]

52nd state?

Um, you could point out that America has 50 states, and that 50+1 is 51; not 52.

Either their geography or arithmetic is exemplary of their fine American public schooling.

And then we would call you a pompous ex-British colonial butt-head, hell-bent on venting your lowbrow, north-of-the-border venom at us fine, upstanding, peace-loving Americans who want nothing more than to be friends with our neighbors.

(it only LOOKS like barbed wire and machine guns. Come on over!)

--Rich

.

[Danny Hustle]

Wow, that Johnny Flash is some guy. People just love a guy who hates venomously due to wild generalizations and stereo types (not to mention propeganda printed on men's room walls).

I wonder if it's just Americans he hates or perhaps his venom spills over to the color, religon, and class areas too.

Gobels would have loved you Johnny. Keep that hate alive brother!

[ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: Danny Hustle ]</p>

[jonnyflash]

Nothing but love for the American people on my block.
It's their national leadership that's unloveable.

[martin ewen]

"propaganda" can often be simply facts you don't like.
Given that the US is the only country on the planet not to sign a universal bill of human rights, the toilet walls in question may well be those of the united nations.

[Triona]

At this point people are considering Puerto Rico the 51st state. At least they're a protectorate.


<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[quote]Originally posted by Rich Potter:
<strong>52nd state?

Um, you could point out that America has 50 states, and that 50+1 is 51; not 52.

.</strong><hr></blockquote>

[Triona]

Yes Martin, we didn't want to be hypocrits. There are more human rights violations committed by the countries that signed that bill than by the US.

Just ask women in Afghanistan about the Taliban...

[quote]Originally posted by martin ewen:
<strong>"propaganda" can often be simply facts you don't like.
Given that the US is the only country on the planet not to sign a universal bill of human rights, the toilet walls in question may well be those of the united nations.</strong><hr></blockquote>

[Scot Free]

Really? And who actually did sign Triona?
I guess not wanting to look like hypocrates is also the reason for backing out of the Kyoto protocol eh?

The 52nd state eh? There is no real reason for the US to geo-politalally annex Canaduh, thanks to the FTAA they have done so economicly.
Just one example:
Right now a private American company is poised to take over the "business" of providing welfare to British Colombians, as they do in Ontario. Thats right our social services are being privatized and American companies are scoring the contracts to manage 'em.
Welfare for profit? WTF?
P.S. British Columbia and Ontario are Provences in Canada...just in case you did'nt know they are kind of like your states in the US.
[ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: Scot Free ]

[ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: Scot Free ]</p>

[le pire]

Hey Triona,

There is no "first amendment' here in France and nobody has ever stopped us from complaining about how this place sucks. I'm sure you can all back me up on this...

easy... easy!

Or will cover you in smelly cheese!!!

é t i e n n e


France #1 in complaining! Yahoo!

[jonnyflash]

Remember,anything you hear from the mouths of former DEA, CIA,and LAPD agents
regarding US govt crack & smack dealing is a "conspiracy theory".
Unfortunately (for your world view, Danny Hustle), many US senators, black leaders and established journalists are also are taking this "conspiracy theory" very seriously.
However, I suspect this will only strengthen your resolve that we live in a comic-book, starring GOOD Captain America VS. the EVIL Arch-Axis leader Lenin-Ho-Che-Sadaam-Hitler-Stalin-Osama Bin-Kim 2 Sung.


You can lead a horse to water....


PS Nice graphic Scot Free.How'd you get it there? I wanna stick mine up too.
eek.gif

[Mark Wessels]

[quote]Originally posted by jonnyflash:
<strong>
However, I suspect this will only strengthen your resolve that we live in a comic-book, starring GOOD Captain America VS. the EVIL Arch-Axis leader Lenin-Ho-Che-Sadaam-Hitler-Stalin-Osama Bin-Kim 2 Sung.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

How did you street performers get so clever?
I'm American, though hopefully not for long and am tempted to agree. It does make it easy to always be fighting against some sort of evil force.
Crack dealing? interesting. There are bigger and more definate problems than this. For example our foreign policy.
I believe we have a technical right to speak out against our country but i remember that there was an outrage on Martin Luther King Jr. day because a liberal speaker said that he would not kill Osama Bin Laden were he standing right in front of him. Non-violence on MLK day. Thats good remember. Geez. Sorry. I'll go now.
mfw

[ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: Mark Wess ]</p>

[martin ewen]

Speaking of propaganda
required reading for any knee-jerk right wing reactionarys.
And strangely I've nothing personal against you guys but a slight annoyance at the blinkered outlook (and granted the truth is a dirty and almost undigestibale series of fact)
ROGUE STATES--Noam Chomski

"Described by the'New York Times' as "an exploder of recieved truths,"
Noam Chomski is an articulate opponent of political hypocrisy, state brutality and abuse of power.
Rogue states- is the result of his tireless efforts to measure the worlds superpowers by their own standards and to hold them responsible for the acts they commit in the name of their people.
The United states and its allies come in for particular scrutiny for their numerous blatent violations of the international laws they claim to uphold. With analysis of the united states bombing campaign against Iraq, NATO's intervention in Kosovo, US support for a regime of terror in East Timor, and the political crisis in Columbia, Chomsky interrogates the retoric of western foriegn policy to reveal the insidious interests behind unsupportable actions--from paralyzing economic sanctions to surgical military strikes.
Chomsky also turns his penetrating gaze towards continuing US involvement in the Middle East, Southeast asia, the Caribbean and Latin America to trace the enduring combined effects of military domination and economic imperialism on these regions.
Throughout, Chomsky reveals the United states increasingingly open dismissal of United Nations resolutions, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and international legal precedent in justifying its motives and actions. As his analysis of US statecraft and warmongering amply reveals, the rule of law has been reduced to a mere nuisance in the United state's brazen bid for the title"rogue state."
Noam Chomsky, Institute Professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technoligy, is a world renowned linguist, philosopher, and political analyst. He writes extensively and lectures round the world on international affairs, US foriegn policy and human rights.
-----------------------------

Now if you gung ho chaps would like to even consider having a look at this book then i would read anything you suggested that supported your viewpoint.
The reason america didn't sign the bill of human rights had nothing to do with ladies in afganistan.
It had to do with the fact that the prisons in your country with their 23 hour lockdowns and your slap dash death penalties handed out to almost exclusively black poor people could have been prosecutable under international law.
(I do like your skifields though and you americans are all so friendly)

[Stephon]

I hesitate to even enter into this discussion, 'cuz I think this jingoistic "Rah rah. The US is #1" crap is just as much bullshit as the xenocentric "The US is a heartless, mass-consuming, patriarcal war machine" crap. The history of any country reveals a list of actvities that run from noble to stupid to shameful. All this mudslinging is pointless.

HOWEVER, I'm hoping jonnyflash can clarify this quote:

<strong>However, I suspect this will only strengthen your resolve that we live in a comic-book, starring GOOD Captain America VS. the EVIL Arch-Axis leader Lenin-Ho-Che-Sadaam-Hitler-Stalin-Osama Bin-Kim 2 Sung.</strong>[/QUOTE]

Your tone here regarding the goodness of the US is sarcastic, but surely you're not implying that your hyphenated list of oppressors and mass murderers were/are not really evil?

[Flo]

Now children, can't we all play nice? Yes perhaps I started this little . . . discussion but with the intent of supplying myself with good comebacks that are funny. Although I do find some of the content listed below to be informative I don't intend to throw it in anyone's face. So, any more suggestions?

When they call Canada the 52 State I draw a blank.

[Danny Hustle]

[ 01-31-2002: Message edited by: Danny Hustle ]</p>

[Triona]

Martin and the rest of you guys,

I will not deny tha the US has stuck it's nose in where it didn't belong on more than one occasion. The only countries that don't are the ones who are too weak to do so. My point was that despite it's faults, I am proud to be an American because we also are usually one of the first to step up when a tragedy occurs overseas.

Scott, I have no idea, but Martin was referring to some sort of treaty as being signed "by the rest of the planet". I don't know enough about the specific treaty you are referring to, so I can't really draw any conclusion as to why we "backed out of it".

As for Canada being the 52 state? I've never heard that (but I'm not a Canuck). The nickname I've always heard was "Our neighbors to the north". Though I still don't understand the round bacon...

P.S. Etienne, the French patterned their systems of rights (sorry I don't know the proper title) after America's constitution.

<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[ 01-31-2002: Message edited by: Triona ]</p>

[martin ewen]

Flo
Point taken.
You could try.
'We at least have french canadians who are insane but cultured wheras you guys just have deranged gunmen on schoolgrounds"
or
"hey the US has to have a place outside itself where people who don't want to shoot strangers can run to."
or
"Us and lapland are the only countrys capable of looking down at you, we got the balcony you got the pit, mosh on yanki-boy"
or
" Hey at least our indians have still got their health."
or
"We have moose and a moose would kick a bisons arse (providing you guys could still find one)"
or
"At least our presidents not so dumb that he can't chew and watch football on TV at the same time."
All for now.
--and triona you do leave yourself open sometimes, theres this big statue called the statue of liberty, it was a gift from france who had a constitution that supplied liberty, equality and some other rty since the french revolution which occured long before america saw the benefit of a dead indian. but to be honest france isn't blameless either. In fact I blame you all.

[ 01-31-2002: Message edited by: martin ewen ]</p>

[Triona]

[quote]Originally posted by martin ewen:
<strong>Flo
Point taken.
You could try.
"We have moose and a moose would kick a bisons arse (providing you guys could still find one)"
</strong><hr></blockquote>

We have moose too. And the Bronx Zoos program to bring back the buffalo, has significantly replenished their numbers. Besides, based on weight and fighting styles, my money's on the buffalo.

[quote]"At least our presidents not so dumb that he can't chew and watch football on TV at the same time."
All for now.[/QB]<hr></blockquote>

Hey we didn't elect him... Florida did!

<img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[Danny Hustle]

[ 01-31-2002: Message edited by: Danny Hustle ]</p>

[Flo]

Ahhh Martin!!
Those are great----unable to say which is my favorite as I'm still laughing at the president's joke! Thanks---that was what I was looking for.

Still like aresol cheese (raoul) and burning down the white house (stickman).

Greatly Appreciated, mind if I use abny of these :0)

Flo rolleyes.gif

[martin ewen]

I have since been corrected by a chorus of local americans who are actually quite possessive about their moose. They are american moose, they were born in america and its only out of a deep sense of moosey indifference that they don't organise and migrate up to kick some canadian moose butt.
Still i like the idea of Moose Vs Bison, does anyone know anywhere where only a fence seperates them?

[jonnyflash]

HOWEVER, I'm hoping jonnyflash can clarify this quote:

However, I suspect this will only strengthen your resolve that we live in a comic-book, starring GOOD Captain America VS. the EVIL Arch-Axis leader Lenin-Ho-Che-Sadaam-Hitler-Stalin-Osama Bin-Kim 2 Sung.[/QUOTE]
Your tone here regarding the goodness of the US is sarcastic, but surely you're not implying that your hyphenated list of oppressors and mass murderers were/are not really evil?

Well,let's see..
Take Hitler for example. Henry Ford, a self-described fascist who produced and bankrolled an anti-semetic newspaper for years, donated millions to Hitler's party, and set up factories to produce vehicles for the Axis war machine is firmly on the good guys side in the hazy American Dream type world-view, while the man he helped install in power in Germany is always on the bad guy's side. Why?

Take Osama Bin Laden...
Given he did have anything to do with the recent terrorism, even CNN has admitted he learned all his skills from american intelligence operatives. This previously nameless religious zealot was turned into a respected leader by the CIA.
But the CIA are good, and he is bad.. Why? They both look bad to me.

Now Bush wants to boost his war economy by attacking and murdering not just the average Afghani, but Phillipinos, Iranians, Iraqis(who are already dropping like flies from US sanctions), and Korean citizens as well.Who's next, Canada? Sure, the oil pipeline is in the middle east, but what the hell is in Korea? Surely it's not the food. It looks like this madman is about to start a nuclear war.
I agree that terms like Good and Evil are useless when describing world politics. I prefer just and unjust, honest and corrupt.
Apocalyptic and non-apocalyptic.

Jonny Flash
Still breathing, non-bombed and non-nuked in Canada.(Thank God)

rolleyes.gif

[stickman]

[quote]Originally posted by Triona:
<strong>Being from the states I have one statement...

Round bacon, what's up with that????? confused.gif

</strong><hr></blockquote>

Simple really fits nicely on a bun, don't you think? Add an egg and you have a ready made hot sandwich on your way to the morning lottery.

One of the few thing mcdonalds got right I figure.

Stickman
Http://www.weeble.org

[stickman]

[quote]Originally posted by Flo:
<strong>Spam and ketchup flavoured chips!

. . . that would be rather wretched wouldn't it?</strong><hr></blockquote>

They are!!!!! Believe it or not they actually sell them in Ireland. Just goes to prove once again, someone has thought of everything before.

Stickman
Http://www.weeble.org

*currently in Ireland

[le pire]

Triona,

Thomas Jefferson based his writings, including the Declaration of Independance and parts of the constitution, on French philosophy and ideas. You see, while there was a war going on he came here to hide... euhh I mean study. And Ben Franklin was just here groveling for money, and to flirt with the ladies, of course!

It's all been documented in the Merchant Ivory modern classic "Jefferson in Paris" starring Nick Nolte.


France is the birthplace of many great IDEAS, things just never seem to actually get DONE. That's where those yanks come in...

France & the USA actually had an enormously amicable relationship until the 60's when DeGaulle & Kennedy had a hate-hate relationship. Funny enough, one was assasinated and the other was kicked out of power not long after because no one could stand mr "I am France" anymore...


é t i e n n e


P.S. that referendum was RIGGED! QUEBEC SHOULD BE FREE OF ANGLOPHONE CANADIAN OPPRESSION!!!! smile.gif

[Flo]

If all Americans are "proud" to be Americans then why do they always travel with a Canadian patch on their backpack?

I don't mean to add fuel to the fire but I had to pose the question.

Oh yeah, and check this site out www.standonguard.com (http://www.standonguard.com)

Flo

[le pire]

[quote]Originally posted by Flo:
<strong>If all Americans are "proud" to be Americans then why do they always travel with a Canadian patch on their backpack?


</strong><hr></blockquote>

What in the world are you talking about?

If this is kind of response you give to the "52nd state" remarks, then it's a step in the right direction for you to ask advice on being witty. biggrin.gif

You know, Canada could have had American know-how, British Government, and French culture. Instead she ended up with British know how, French Government and American Culture. tongue.gif


é t i e n n e

[Danny Hustle]

Hey! Americans have culture! We had that whole Jazz thing...well..all the good Jazz guys moved to france..so did most of our good writers...**sigh** nevermind..


[quote]Originally posted by le pire:
<strong>

American Culture. tongue.gif


é t i e n n e</strong><hr></blockquote>