Pick up lines

[le pire]

That's a lovely dress... Think I can talk you out of it?

[ 02-09-2002: Message edited by: le pire ]</p>

[em]

"fancy going halves ona bastard?"

[em]

hello

[Daniel Craig]

The worst and yet best one I've ever heard:

That sweater is very becoming on you. Of course, if I was all over your chest, I'd be coming too.

Heh heh.

[Peter Voice]

On the beach;

"See those seagulls over there. They're talking about you."

No-one has ever failed to want to know what the seagulls are saying. It also works in National Parks with kangaroos, emus, etc., especially on tourists.

[ 02-10-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[scot]

"Loose the struggler and go with the juggler"

[jonnyflash]

If I told you I like your body would you hold it against me?

[martin ewen]

If I told you that line was over 30 years old would you hold it against me. Clue, its rotting.

[Peter Voice]

I agree with Martin, if you're going to put something up here, let's at least have something original that might work.

[jonnyflash]

Upon learning that this isn't a joke post, I am forced to admit that, dig deep as I may,I have never used a pick-up line in my life.
I always assumed that any pick up line style entry into conversation
would immediately get shot down by the beautiful woman I was trying to connect with.
I guess the closest I've come to that strategy is entering the ring with "pardon me, your accent..where is it from? This leads into one of my areas of knoledge and probably a lively interaction.
In my experience it all comes down to you being in your element and
comfortable, so she can see the best of you in the shortest time.

[le pire]

Johnny, are you turning into one of those sensitive men who cries?
"Pick up lines" are the fine blur between being a joke and being desparately serious about getting a shag. I think it can be perfectly summed up by Mr. Brown's favorite line:

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

é t i e n n e

p.s. Happy Valentine's Day!

[ 02-14-2002: Message edited by: le pire ]</p>

[Chance]

Walk over to the object of your desire, very slightly wet the tip of your finger and swipe it against her dress, then say, "Why don't we go somewhere and get you out of these wet things?"

[Rich Potter]

"Tits oot fer the lads!"
--Sid the Sexist

I always liked, "Do you know what would look really good on you? Me."

Since I never used pick-up lines myself, I'd have to fantasize about what I'd say,

"From across the way, I could see the blinding flash of your beautiful azure eyes, the flowing tresses of your flaxen hair, and the swelling bodaciousness of your flopping hooters. Marry me."

--Rich

[clapchap]

Your feminine charms are wooing me...what can you say to that?

[scot]

You're all so above using pickup lines. You sound afraid that someone would think that you might use them. Why so defensive? I guess it's good to make sure Martin knows I'm not the type of guy that hits on chicks. I am just a snappy typist. You all sound like those performers that used to do street. "I used to do that, but now I'm above it."

My best working line to date is "Can I buy you something? Like maybe a cherry or a lime?

[Danny Hustle]

I tended bar for a long time and heard just about every pick up line known to man.

The best pick up line I ever heard was deliverd straightfaced by a pal of mine tending the bar with me.

A girl sitting at the bar had been flirting with him most of the night and finally asked, "So what time do you get off?"

To which he quickly reponded in his Brittish accent, "Using history as a guide dear, I'd say approxamatly twenty five minutes after you get on."

The second best was deliverd by a college boy in a rumpled sport coat, he was very drunk, and had the but of an unlit and long dead cigarette dangling from his lip. He quite casually walked over to a very pretty, and equally drunk co-ed and said, "Have you ever been made love to, standing up, from behind, as the guy whispered erotic poetry in your ear?"

The girl chuckled, "No."

To which he responded, "Are you busy for the next couple of hours, then?"

She laughed like hell, "Probably."

She then got up and left with him.

I miss the 80's

[em]

Street pick up lines......something like.....

"do you wanna come up to my hotel room and fiddle with the nobs on my amp?"

hmmmmm? cmon, theres more "in-house" ones eh?!

xxx

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

This is one of my own lines,

It is O.K,you do not have to show me to your Mother!

LDR

Ps. they seem to be able to relax after that!

[Cacoal]

Whoops!

[ 03-05-2002: Message edited by: Cacoal ]</p>

[Cacoal]

About a month ago was at the bar with a skinny Newfoundlander friend of mind. He walked right up to this gorgeous blond we'd been checking out for a little while and says:
"Do y'ave a li'l Newfoundlander in ya?"
To this she of course said "No."
Then he says "Would ya like one?" tongue.gif

[willie the clown]

I like this one: life with out you is like a broken pencil. pointless.
or the smoothest I've heard, you know sometimes a guy just wants to be held.
ren faire claptrap-fair maiden,such sweet perfection, i have yet to behold in all my days,and as the dawn breaks on our naked bodies,the world will rejoice at our lovemaking. it never worked but hey it is poetic.
this one that tops my list though: hey can i smell your feet? no well then it must be your #$**%! rolleyes.gif

[Doctor Eric]

"You girls like Kielbasa?"
-Only to be used by Fat Carnies with bad tattoos, to be immediately followed by
"How about smokin' some summer sausage?"

These are the only ones worse than this little gem delivered to a friend of mine by an unnamed (and horrifically stuck-up) performer...
"I make more money than you."

[Stephon]

Doc, would that unanmed performer be "Jaques le Renard"? (nudge, nudge, wink.gif wink.gif )

[le pire]

I think you mean Jean le Renard.

e t i e n n e

[firegirl]

my personal favorite is a variation of the 'nice shoes - let's fuck.'

simply look at their shoes and then walk out of the bar.

women can get away with this kind of move... and, have it work.

(one summer my show partners and i spent many nights perfecting this move in boston/cape cod area bars. broon fell for it twice - from different people. ha.)

granted - as we're chicks - we don't really have to try that hard... i can't remember the last time i actually had to persue someone i was interested in picking up - they usually fall prey to my jedi mind tricks and do it for me... is this sexist? my theory? perhaps i'm just fortunate to only be attracted to men who are attracted to me...

or, maybe it's the double tounge transfer.

eh - who cares.
~firegirl

[ 04-09-2002: Message edited by: firegirl ]

[ 04-09-2002: Message edited by: firegirl ]</p>

[Triona]

More likely that you are not ugly and/or overweight....

Being a "babe" always helps the Jedi thing.

[Stephon]

You are correct, Steve. Thanks.

(4 years of French in high school, and I still can't get merde right...)

[firegirl]

i think i make excellent use of my assets...

~firegirl (queen of the low-cut, tight black t-shirt.)

[Keith Eveslage]

"nice pants. They'd look good on my bedroom floor."

"is it hot in here or is it you?"

"Can I be your bathwater?"

The second one has actually worked.

Keith!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gosh!It's kind of odd at times...the thought of even trying to persuade a mermaid or something....to come back to my imaginary castle.....when i have a nose that almost looks like a stonker.I have a little bell at the end of it.....which tinkles....not a foreskin which is wrinkled!
Crikey!My pick up line is: let's play the "GooOse & Duck game!"
P.S.I guess i am a bit of a weasel......so i've got more chance of picking up silly chicks! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Another not so good pickup line is: Oops!Can i give you a peck on your kneecap? <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> tongue.gif

[herbie treehead]

can I marry your mamorie glands

[jonnyflash]

Hey, I have a grandma, you have a grandma, let's go to my place and see if we have anything more in common! <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[firegirl]

here's one that my friends (or so they claim...) tell people to use on me...

'hi. i juggle.'

~firegirl

[ 04-12-2002: Message edited by: firegirl ]</p>

[Chance]

"Hi, I'm an escape artist. Do you like your handcuffs plain or fuzzy?" tongue.gif

[Danny Hustle]

This one is partiucularly awful:


Do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job?

No?

Hmm..want to go to McDonalds for lunch?

[ 04-15-2002: Message edited by: Danny Hustle ]</p>

[Pokie-Poke]

hey fire girl, nice shoes, want ta juggle? wink.gif

[firegirl]

very good combination of pickup lines... witty - creative... i give it an over all 8.5 -- but, the austrian judge is gonna low ball ya on this attempt for a technical foul... (material already provided.)

yes ~ my predisposition to sleep with sarcastic jugglers is well known through out the variety arts community...

what can i say? i like a guy who knows how to handle balls.

~firegirl

[Triona]

[quote]Originally posted by firegirl:
<strong>yes ~ my predisposition to sleep with sarcastic jugglers is well known through out the variety arts community...

what can i say? i like a guy who knows how to handle balls.

~firegirl</strong><hr></blockquote>

Oh great, now the keyboard at home is gonna be sticky... tongue.gif

[firegirl]

...heh-heh...

i do what i can...

~firegirl

[Sean Miller]

Missing the 80's as well.

I had a friend back then who would walk up to the girl of his choice and say, "So, where do you want to fuck, your place or mine." It always amazed me how often he would walk out the door with them.

Of course, he got his face slapped a fair number of times as well.

[Sean Miller]

One of the best stock lines that I've ever come up with, while not truely a pick-up line, is in answer to the dreaded early question that most women seem to enjoy asking of the men they've just met.

"How old do you think I am?"

Guys, try this reply the next time and see how easy it is to get out of the noose.

"My dear, for a blade of grass, you are increadibly old. For a mountain you are increadibly young, For a lady your age, you are just the right age."

Trust me, it has gotten me out of more than one jam.

[David Groves]

For some great pickup lines, try the book, YOU'RE SO FINE, I'D DRINK A TUB OF YOUR BATHWATER!

One of them which I'm sure doesn't work but is fun nonetheless, is:

"It must be your birthday, baby, because you've got some cake back there!

[Danny Hustle]

[quote]Originally posted by Sean Miller:
<strong>One of the best stock lines that I've ever come up with, while not truely a pick-up line, is in answer to the dreaded early question that most women seem to enjoy asking of the men they've just met.

"How old do you think I am?"

Guys, try this reply the next time and see how easy it is to get out of the noose.

"My dear, for a blade of grass, you are increadibly old. For a mountain you are increadibly young, For a lady your age, you are just the right age."

Trust me, it has gotten me out of more than one jam.</strong><hr></blockquote>

This is a quote from that crappy remo Williams movie circa 198sumthin'

[Pokie-Poke]

hey fire girl, juggling has bin arownd for 4000+ yrs. and you want origanal???

that's my line and I'm sticking to it....


And the key board....

and...never mind.

the worst one I have heard was a construction worker..."HEY MOMMY, I'll drinkyou dirty bath water!!! She was hot, but I don't think that one works to well. if I was her I would come back the next day with a jar of.....he he he rolleyes.gif rolleyes.gif

[ben woodling]

hey fire gurl..."u wanna relite mi fire" or "u make me hot" or "theres a fire in mi pants u wanna eat it?" or "wanna fuk"
sorry bout that!

[martin ewen]

Jesus
don't be sorry
be quiet.

[firegirl]

those are cute... y'all are sooooo adorable... *bats eyelashes* ...well, except for martin - who seems very angry... ??

tee-hee & tra-la-la,
firegirl

[martin ewen]

Angry? Try bitterly underwhelmed.
"Excuse me I couldn't help noticing you exhibiting signs of vapid boredom with this social setting, I'm guessing your tedium stems from the fact that you have been bred as an object and can't spot a buyer in your price range possibly coupled with the fact that your cavernously empty mind is sort of scary when theres no-one to distract you from it. Perhaps we could cooperate and I'll do and say things that will at least be vaguely distracting while I pursue my own agenda which is a hardwired
disposition to increase the species, you have to admit that even being in public and appearing available sort of brands you as a bit desperate but the good news is I am too and thats the sort of basis that all the best relationships are based, did you know antoney and cleopatra met at a bar? Could you buy me a drink? Do you own a car or house or anything? Do you have any younger sisters?"

[Triona]

Don't pick up many women do you Martin.... tongue.gif

[HiveQueen]

[quote]Originally posted by martin ewen:
<strong>
"Excuse me I couldn't help noticing you exhibiting signs of vapid boredom with this social setting, I'm guessing your tedium stems from the fact that you have been bred as an object and can't spot a buyer in your price range possibly coupled with the fact that your cavernously empty mind is sort of scary when theres no-one to distract you from it. Perhaps we could cooperate and I'll do and say things that will at least be vaguely distracting while I pursue my own agenda which is a hardwired
disposition to increase the species, you have to admit that even being in public and appearing available sort of brands you as a bit desperate but the good news is I am too and thats the sort of basis that all the best relationships are based, did you know antoney and cleopatra met at a bar? Could you buy me a drink? Do you own a car or house or anything? Do you have any younger sisters?"</strong><hr></blockquote>

Works for me, though I can't claim to be representative of the female species in general.

[firegirl]

do you have a SENSE of HUMOR, martin? nothing is more unattractive than a person who takes themselves too seriously. if you had expressed the below paragraph w/a smirk & in good spirit - it would actually be funny... however i can feel your morose sulking all the way over here in nola...

and, i resent the implication that because i enjoy pointless & occasionally witty banter... and, because i know some stupid pick-up lines that i am "vapid..." or, boring... or ~ any of the other characteristics you've choosen to assign to the individuals whom are participating in this thread. if you're so unimpressed - why don't you wow us with your input instead of criticizing... or, better yet - don't read the thread.

*stepping off soap box*

~firegirl

[firegirl]

wow... i should never read p.net before i have a cup of coffee in the morning.

sorry, y'all...
~firegirl

[ben woodling]

hey,
just a quik thing on takin life seriously 4 u martin....DONT!!!
its ther eto be lived do with it wat u will but have fun, god dam it, have fun!!!! x() &lt; this means that i am posting this in good spirits!
thats all

cheers 4 ur time
BEN

[Danny Hustle]

[quote]Originally posted by firegirl:
<strong>wow... i should never read p.net before i have a cup of coffee in the morning.

sorry, y'all...
~firegirl</strong><hr></blockquote>


"[Firegirl is] an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, fueled by anger..."

Hmmm...

I found it kinda' sexy, but then again I'm a troglodyte. I think that beats a pair of vapids, and a full house.

I'm going to France now to draw on my cave wall and scratch my protuding browline. smile.gif

Best,

Dan-

[firegirl]

...i'll see your trogladyte & raise you two vapid cyber bimbos and a sulky busker...

thanks for making me smile, dan!

~firegirl

[martin ewen]

Firegirl, you poor uncaffinated deluded piece of fluff.
nothing I have ever written has ever been about YOU.
Galling isn't it.
(Nice to know that if I were to ask you for "a fuc" you'd bat your eyelashes though.)
I wrote what I thought was the funniest pic-upline thus posted.
To be accused of not having a sense of humour only shows that humours pretty subjective.
I inflict mine on the world for a living.
Flirt away to your hearts content, theres heaps of boys here just panting for it.
You presume I'm unhappy ,I'm touched (really).
I have a wonderful partner, a brilliant job, kids that I can pretend I'm responsible for, I live in a house on a hill in the woods of Connecticut, I have some of the weirdest friends known to man.
The cunning twist is I'm proffessionally unhappy.
I'm quite good at it too.
so lets put it down to a missunderstanding shall we and I'll leave you to further further surf the testestorone

[Scot Free]

[quote]Originally posted by martin ewen:
<strong>I wrote what I thought was the funniest pic-upline thus posted.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

The only one I got a chuckle out of.


No Martin, I'm not hitting on you.

[firegirl]

...martin... as i said in a previous post - i am sorry... i shouldn't have responded so violently. i don't know you - i was hypocritical in ranting as such - as i was criticizing behavior i was participating in myself.

my apologies.

on that note... please don't call me fluff. i could get persnickity and give you a vita on my credentials as a performer, teacher & scholar... but, i feel that would kind of be... longwinded and pretentious.

to that point -- let it be said: i participate in p.net for fun... to keep up with what my friends are doing... not to discuss major world issues and be serious all the time... 'cause i get enough of that in my actual job. [as i have pretty much given up variety performance (with the exception of a few local shows & festivals) in favor of film production... being a dp is the most responsiable i've ever had to be in my 30 years of existance... more responsiable that either in college or grad school... it's a drag really... but, i digress...] forgive me for indulging in my former college co-ed self... being flirty & retarded online w/people i don't have to deal with on a regular basis is some how better for me... (tho' the people who actually know me on the p.net might argue that i'm flirty and retarded in person... but, i say... SHHHHH!)

anyhow - my point is: did i have a point? oh yeah... martin: i was having a bad day at the office & logged onto p.net for a laugh & unloaded a rant on you due to a perceived insult. that was unfair. especially since i do not know you personally. conversely - you do not know me... 'nough said.

~firegirl smile.gif

[martin ewen]

mmm.. I just love it when we make up.

[firegirl]

yeah, yeah, yeah...

your bitter sarcasim is beginning to grow on me, martin.

~firegirl

[gweedo]

Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk by you again?

[River]

Many, many years ago, when I was just getting started, I would spend whole days, and whole nights, in make-up and totally committed to silence, and to maximum playful interactions with people.

I never solicited money during these excursions, but most days people would buy me meals and drinks and try to get me high however they could to see if I would, or could, step out of character and speak.

I never did, though the guy who held a knife to my throat and said he was going to kill me if I didn't say something came the closest to getting me to break character.

On several occasions, women took me home for the night to try some private methods of getting me to speak.

I never considered moaning as constituting actual speech.

Being committed to silence, when things were slow, I didn't have the luxury of resorting to pick up lines.

On those rare occasions I usually found that it worked pretty well to sit quietly at the bar, licking my eyebrows.

River

p.s. Sometimes I would return a few days later to the scene of the seduction and interview the seductress about why she had taken a total stranger, and stranger than most, into her bed.

Someday I will record their answers, as best as I can recall them.

[Danny Hustle]

[quote]Originally posted by River:
<strong>the guy who held a knife to my throat and said he was going to kill me if I didn't say something came the closest to getting me to break character.

</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'm glad he didn't go through with it! After all, "a mime is a terrible thing to waste..."

My god, did I really say that? I am ashamed of myself. Sincearly.

smile.gif

[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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