Would human WING implants make uni-mounting easier?

[Jim]

Here's an interesting story I came across about a doctor who is predicting that in a few years he'll be implanting people with WINGS and TAILS... Jim Rose is quoted as saying he knows people who'd be interested in the procedure:

[quote]So Rose's friends and colleagues such as Enigma are exactly the kind of people who will be first in the queue for Rosen's new operations. He says that, "Rosen is talking their language. I've worked with people with split tongues because they want to be like lizards, people who want to look like cats. I've lived with these people on the road for years, and believe me, they're very interested in operations that could give them tails or wings."

He has interesting insights on the psychology of people drawn to this kind of procedure. "If there's one thing that the outrageously altered have in common, it's an incredible need for attention. Most of them in their past have felt overlooked, usually by a parent. That gives them a mindset that's like, 'I will not be ignored.' Because of their desperate need for attention, they're usually happier after they've been altered [for example, by being covered with tattoos]." But the attention they receive "almost always causes this unbearable kind of egocentricity. I'd like to buy those guys for what they're worth and sell them for what they think they're worth - I could retire on that." <hr></blockquote>

Full story here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/medicine/story/0,11381,665328,00.html

[HiveQueen]

Hmmm... shades of Lives of the Monster Dogs
(http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0374189870/103-1162469-9245416)

So even were he to graft ribs onto the scapulae, implant miniature artificial joints, re-configure some upper back muscles to support the excess weight, stretch the torso skin to cover the "wings", do all this while maintaining nerve and blood connections, find a physical therapist willing to train the muscles & nerves to respond, ignore the immense upper back problems etc etc etc... how does he propose to get human flesh to grow FEATHERS??

Seems if someone's considering radical surgery to make uni-mounting easier, getting neutered might be a better first step.

[The Had Matter]

Actually I've been practiceing a bit which involves a few false starts on my unicucle - strapping on some plastic wings and then doing a running suicide mount onto it- looks very cool.

<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rex Boyd]

Well, I haven't seen real wings yet, but there is an excellent young performer from Australia named Cheyne (sometimes known as Space Cowboy) who now works with a group called The Happy Torture Freakshow ( or something like that). Anyway Cheyne has two tattooed wings that cover his entire back.


Rex

[Doctor Eric]

Actually, it is physically impossible for a 6-limbed vertebrate to exist and survive, the strain would break the spine, so you could turn yor ARMS into wings, but never a stand-alone, workable pair (without first installing an exoskeleton)
File that for future 'Jeopardy!' use...

[ 04-08-2002: Message edited by: Doctor Eric ]</p>

[fracksfreakshow]

actually frack has read that the tail thing is possible. by fusing it to the spine to give it all control. don't ask frack details not a doctor so can't really explain it. the wings though would probably just be show and not moveable. yep yep frack attack

[HiveQueen]

[quote]Originally posted by Doctor Eric:
<strong>Actually, it is physically impossible for a 6-limbed vertebrate to exist and survive, the strain would break the spine, so you could turn yor ARMS into wings, but never a stand-alone, workable pair (without first installing an exoskeleton)
File that for future 'Jeopardy!' use...</strong><hr></blockquote>

You could always mount the wings to your hips, I suppose... Or just get a friendly doctor with access to a high-end prosthetic invention lab to make you a pair of very very little wings, which could be attached directly to your scapulae with teensy little titanium screws. If they were very small and very light you could probably get away with them without noticably adding to the stress we all carry in our upper back muscles already. Would be hard to drive, though.

[Chance]

Or maybe winged feet like Mercury? Stap sandals are always in style.

[herbie treehead]

backpack helicopter is the way to go.
I tried building one out of electric lawnmowers so I could levatate for the finale of my show, but alas I fell over and banged into a wall while practicing.

[ 04-10-2002: Message edited by: herbie treehead ]</p>