Japan

[jonnyflash]

Hi comrades, just did another grueling day here in Osaka,
I have 3 bits of advice for you if you wanna come to Japan ever. I wish I had known these B4.

1.Agent;If possible, find Japanese Agent BEFORE you get here.(Language Barrier/incredibly expensive telephones($1.25CAN per minute plus no adresses numbers on any building and illogical and mostly non~present street signs.) )Arrive with complete promo in Japanese and English. Preferably a bilingual website.

2.Transportation:If your kit is bigger than a small suitcase and backpack, you NEED a 3 wheel scooter or a small car.
With the trains, staircases are inevitible. Many stations and lines have NO elevator whatsoever.For example, today I walked a total of 1 hour return from the nearest train station to the pitch and back. Energy can be sapped by the time you get to the pitch.

3.Language; 99.9% of these people do not understand English.
So better have completely silent or better Japanese jokes in your show.

4. Content; Be aware that 90% of the acts in Japan consist of A.balloon sculpture B.Diablo C. 3 torches D. 3 Torches on a rolla bolla finale. Don't try to beat the natives at their own game.
I have met a dozen local buskers so far, and no unicyclist! Hooray!

This preparation will take a lot of time and effort, but it is much harder to do over here for many reasons.
This Travel Advisory is a pre~emptive strike for my feature length article, coming soon to a P.Net librairy near you!
Its getting cold,
so excavate those dime and nickel jars to fund your hibernation, North Americans and survive to the next season!
PS remember not to eat the whole honey jar.

Jonny Flash

[martin ewen]

Good advice.
I lived there for 3 years a decade ago so the pitches may have changed. (we had the place to ourselves and no rules and just cleaned up)
But some things never change.
If you just arrive and do the rounds of agents, they will, even if they like you a lot, tend to let you sit for a month before they offer you work, Its a weird screening process and some people come over with high hopes and find it hard/impossible to survive the cost of the first month without income.
If, after a month you get a call then you could well be employed more or less every weekend from that point.
I've seen people wither and implode in that first period.
Maybe try and get introduced by someone already working for them before you arrive in the country.
The unicycle thing is rare simply because Japanese all get them to play on in preschool. (or did-a couple of generations at least)
They might not be that impressed but they are very polite so you'd probably not notice.

[jonnyflash]

Always the sharp tounged devil. I have been told that the best known and most established performer around is a unicycle act out of Tokyo.
I guess they are just "really polite" to him too?
I took the pains to translate a Japanese hat line which was offered me, and lo and behold, it was the old "Nothing is too small just fold it up and put it in the hat" line so often used in Canada. Some things arte universal!

[martin ewen]

Money lines, foreign lingos, cultural kindergartens and the challanges in learning some magic patter that you vaguely understand but your audiences understand better.

'1000 yen each people or I'm going into a public bath near you (dramatic pause) still soaped up.'
You could do an atrocious japanese speech filled with errors about how Japanese you are.

"I'm so Japanese I flush my toilet slippers after each visit"

"I'm so Japanese that my thoughts and my facial expressions have only met once and I've stopped masterbating on trains now anyway."

"I'm so japanese I shop first and browse later."

"I'm actually a closet Japanese....As you can see Canadian closets are slightly larger than yours."

I'm so Japanese, I love whales, they're beautiful magestic, gigantic, graceful, evolved creatures...I just couldnt eat a whole one."

"I'm so Japanese...Nanking?? ,,Isn't that that boxing promoters grandmother?"

I think I better stop now,

[ 11-10-2002: Message edited by: martin ewen ]</p>

[jonnyflash]

Martin, good ideas.....yesterday my roadcase handle decided to commit ritual suicide on the way to a show, so I stayed in and fixed it. The hardware stores here the ones of my fantasies, really fabulous.
Did you become fluent in those three years this side of the big blue marble? It is quite amusing to see jokes I don't really understand affecting the okyakusan! The bathroom here is so small, I have to leave the door open when I sit. And thats the truth.

[martin ewen]

Language smamwidge. Learn Japanese and after 20 years still have people compliment you in awe on your use of chopsticks.
I learnt "I feel like afterbirth' and 'i've left my brain in a subway locker' in response to constant 'Genki?' quiries (translates to 'are you vital')
I used to say the afterbirth line wrong and it sounded like I actually wanted to get hold of some and that would confuse them.

Money line wise I'm a mime so it didn't concern me.
I had a remote controlled tip-truck with a hat stuck on it and after my show (3 1/2 mins dance piece-- the short and frequent approach)
I'd simply drive my hat out to the center and watch people form a generious scrum.
I'd drive it back, push a button and it would tip the cash into my opened bag by which time my tape had rewound (remote also) and I was ready to go again.
Remote vehicles are real cheap and with a hat combined with your concentration in getting it out there its all pretty self evident what its for and its a game the whole family can play.
Resist driving it round to collect, You make much more if you just put it out and they come to it.

[jonnyflash]

That dumptruck thing gave me as good bellylaugh. F#$"ing hilario. I can picture it. They love the visual here, you must have done well. Now my show for the busy, rushing thoroughfare is about 25 min. long, I should probably cut that down to 15. My minidisc player just died, so I whistle Europe's "The Final Countdown" while laying props. They like pain here. Theres a great TV show called Burn out Guys (and the fem. version as well). I was confused at the aims of the show, with whqat seemed to be boring, repetitive tests of endurance performed by average joes ion a RealityTV type format. Then it dawned on me..The whole show was about getting sacked! the obstacles were all designed to hit your nuts when you get tired, So each time one sacked himself, the camera would zoom in on his green face and then on the audience's reaction, and the announcers would get all animated! It was the funniest thing I have seen in years.
So, accordingly I added a little masochism to my show, to great effect.