Glastonbury Festival

[Mr Qwirk]

Does anyone have any experience at this festival?

Ive been offered a contract here, but are wondering what the hats are like.

Any help would be great.

Cheers! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[mini mansell]

No Hats at all.

the festival has so very much entertainerment no one consisders it.

theh punters have all paid 100 pounds each to be stuffed full of fun. they aint gonna contribute any extra.

[Mr Qwirk]

Thanks,

thats what I thought. frown.gif

[em]

but its a festival not to be missed i reckon! not somewhere to make money but somewhere to make friends and have a wicked time...

[nick nickolas]

Sorry I won't be there everyone...This is the first I've missed for ages.....

I will pray for good weather to you all.....

Enjoy.......

Can't wait to read some stories.....

Nick

[nick nickolas]

was anyone there ???????

[em]

yes but as always its a strange experience trying to remember what exactly happened.
So this year....good weather, great crowds better atmosphere than many that have been.
Arrived, got out of my truck to discover that one of my treasured items of breathable footwear had fallen out when i had filled up with diesel. dreading the thought of having insanely hot feet for the whole festival i went off in search of flip flops. Went out onto the main site to discover that the festival had already started, two days early as it was only wednesday. Even though there were no bands on EVERYTHING else was rocking, and the place was comfortably packed. Finally found a pair of not too hippy Flip flops although a bit over the top bearing red sequins, but hey thats Glastonbury for you. bought a veggie burger and a can of beer, went back to help put up the "we're not running a bar" bar.
This year we didn't run a bar. However we had an "area" where people could come and buy drinks. but it wasn't a bar. we didn't have a bar. but we had a sofa. and lots of chairs. And alcohol.

day one happened. Peewee and i did our usual walkabouts, sweated alot, shouted alot. In the evening however we were guests in Stompies "half naked chef" on some obscure stage in the cabaret field. i was Nigella Lawson "crack whore" ( for those of you that don't know she is a tv chef in the UK) and sat in a tent on stage muttering about my labia throughout. Peewee was "Skip" brother of the half naked chef and came onto stage with one bollock hanging out of his short red sport shorts. needless to say the bollock quickly retreted back into his body as the cold and stage fright struck him. Nigella finally emerged from the tent with the gusset of her tights halfway round her kness swearing like a good 'un. the whole thing turned into a huge food fight as other "guests" arrived, and various people got naked including an audience member. We had rehearsed but everything went out the window and descended into chaos. By the next night word had spread and people were keen to see how far we would push it. Much of what happened however is fairly unprintable but did get seen by some 10 year olds (what were they doing up at midnight?) who asked me the next day as i was going to the stinky portaloo for a poo; "Are you Nigella Lawson 'crack whore'"?
i muttered yes and strode away as fast as possible.
The lost Vagueness field was packed, weddings going on in the chapel made of corrugated iron, a pinball arcade where the power was created by chip fat, the casino, more exclusive and more packed than ever, many more hippies in ballgowns and tuxes (not gender specific), fifties rock and roll bar always packed, excellent sculptures...an enormous tree made out of exhaust pipes, and so much more.
i have absolutely no idea what i did on friday night but it involved 78 parties all going on in one big party. remember becoming a pinball with stompy and knocking over all the plastic chairs outside the green room bar. That party then drifted into saturday morning and then that drifted into work, into another party then into more work, then another party then more work and then a party.
The "its not a bar" ran through most nights and seeing as my truck was the side wall of the "area" my nights were somewhat sleepless. Which i didn't mind untill 6am on monday morning when the singing of 40 people had descended into an enormous and lengthy rendition of "Bob The Builder" and seemed to pierce through my ear plugs like hydrochloric acid on plastic.

Show wise didn't see a great deal as always, but did catch "bramble FM" a spoof radio station in a caravan that "broadcast" for 3 hours, and finally had ''naked hour" on sunday afternoon (which i think they later regretted as it had perhaps been a late night decision). Saw Woody Bop Muddy along with 3000 others and screamed "RICE"! alot, and got covered in the stuff as we were right at the front.

Saw many many people, laughed a lot, slept very little, ate a lot, drank alot, made very few actual decisions, walked alot, moaned about my new flip flop blisters alot, tried to get into the casino a lot (failed until sunday morning at 6AM), and generally had a wicked time!!!!
finally left on Tuesday evening and slept for 3 days, woke up and slept for 2 more. great.

[Famos Bramwells]

I have always thought that the first year I went to Glastonbury was 1985 (as a punter). This year I was reading the potted history of the festival in the programme and it turns out that I actually first went in 1984 and my entire history as a performer since then as it relates to this festival (and I have only missed one year since I started going) is a year out. Basically that is what Glastonbury can do to you. I am attempting to write a kind of personal history of the festival for the Library but for now here is what I remember from this year.
To start with it was excellent as with the uber fence and the extra tickets they were able to sell the numbers were pretty much right this year. As always I was one of the two comperes for the Outside Circus Stage, this time sharing it with Soapy who, because the morning band didnt turn up, had to start the festival off by doing his clingfilm escape at 10.30 in the morning to an audience who were happy but perhaps a bit gummy around the eyes. Herbie Treehead did his songs on Saturday and Sunday morning mainly because he wished he was back with us instead of on the Kids Field. Aileen kicked off the rest of the day and of course rocked. Every day.
The sight of Ken Pretentious dancing and juggling ping pong balls in the wind and the rain reminded me strangely of umm, oh yes, Ken Pretentious dancing and juggling ping pong balls in the wind and the rain a couple of years ago. What a geezer.
Venus and Michiel combined into a new act called The Individuals or as Michiel announced to the crowd, "The Flying Dutchmen". Venus looked SO pleased.
John from Stretch People wandered around with the glazed look of someone at Glastonbury without a gig.
The Acromaniacs and The Black Eagles competed to see who could build up the biggest following of drooling women. The naked lust in their eyes was quite disgusting. I dont think they should be allowed in future.
I started a Harry Potter riot by telling some irritating children in the audience that Hermione dies at the end of the new book. When it was over the stage had to be cleaned before the next act could come on. Happy day.
Stompy, Emma, Peewee and the rest of the St Joan's Ambulance managed to bandage me up twice whilst compering. It is tricky to remain dignified when your trousers have been pulled down, you have a pantyliner taped to your head and a strange woman's hand strapped to your thigh.
A new stage was created called Performers Corner. The general opinion was the it was designed by a sound man as who else would put sound box directly in front of the stage. Still, as Matt Barnard pointed out, once you were relaxed about performing to twenty people at one of the biggest festivals in the world it was really quite enjoyable.
The rest of the weekend is a happy blur with vague edges generally themed around meeting almost everybody you have ever met before and seeing stuff. And yes I too sat in the cabaret tent and screamed RICE! at Woody.
If you have never been, go. If you have been before, go again. If you don't enjoy it, give up living.

[Butterfly Man]

Wow! Paddy! Cool ... Shades ... Famos indeed!