Website Critique

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Just starting here, what do you have for me?


http://vaudevilleonwheels.com/

[Doctor Eric]

jesus Karl. You should know better.

"Welcome to 1992 internet users... BEHOLD! My bad font choices with a touch of prepackaged drop shadow!"

once you are in the top nav bar is ok. Extremely standard and boring, but it's a nav bar, so that's okay.

That perfomance vid cap on the bio page is horrid, put it back on your fridge where it belongs.

All of the font choices are bad, and very dated. You also have like 6 or 7 of them and they don't fit together at all.

The photo on your main page looks good, but the others look like you physically cut them out. That'd be okay if you were making it look like the whole site was physical cut and paste, but it's not.

Bubbles=uh uh. curvey comic sans? Did someone put something in your drink? The site seems uninspired, which I suspect it is, that will reflect on the product you're selling, which I suspect you don't want.

I think you need to scrap it and come up with a stronger core idea.

Sorry to be so harsh, but so far not much has been done design wise, so I don't think that's going to set you back much.

[Juggalicious]

doctor eric you certainly sound friendly....personally the site does have a dated feel to it.

[Doctor Eric]

What I'm actually curious about is why are you losing the name "Taxi Trix" after all of these years? That's the other problem with the site, it has two names "vaudeville on wheels" and "Karl's Circus Comedy" both of which are vague and confusing, although the first one isn't quite as bad as the second.

[Rachel Peters]

Eric, you made me laugh.

Karl, I'm so happy you have a site up!! I'm excited.

I know the look it is you're seaching for... I'm not a webby person, or a web designer. I don't do that. ...I mean, I have done that, but it freaks me out. So I don't do that.
That said, talk to me. Send me those photos that Eric mentioned look cut out. Send me all the photos in their original state. ...not as a "hire me" thing, because I don't do that. I just want to see what I can do.
Maybe nothing. But we can try, if you want to.

Before you know it, your site will look just like mine!

...which Eric is currently redesigning, because mine apparently sucks rocks.

[Rachel Peters]

After reading Eric's last comment: I noticed that too. You've stayed with the yellow and black of a taxi, but don't have anything "taxi" in the site. If you're leaving "taxi" behind as a name, then I'd leave the yellow and black behind too. Without a taxi theme, they're not the best colour choices. SOmeone just turned on music and I can't write and listen at the same time.......It's very difficult fo rme........... pardon me if this made no sense.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Alright, fair enough. I put this together to meet a deadline, and that’s done, for good or ill. I was hoping to mask the vidcap with an opaque white layer, so that didn’t work. Same problem with the “training”, I’m guessing.

I can have the photographer here snap some new shots, and probably give me a white field, for new templates. Consider that done, Ray, and thanks!
I'll send those straight away.

I’m doing this in photoshop, with rudimentary know-how, and, apparently, dated fonts.
Where do I go for a primer in re-designing these pages?

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Missed your other two posts. You know, I have been moving away from the taxi thing: might be time to go back to it.

[scot]

Don't you hate it when you look for constructive criticism and all you get is destructive? Then quit doing crap work.

The quick n dirty way.
you're aged so you better be experienced. show right off the bat 3 great places you've performed. the last one represents a quote from whoever ... Socrates... about you ... like "Karl erected a column for me". these aren't the best because I don't know you or your market, but your three benefits are you are unoffensive, predictable and, you will make the audience extra happy. for this, depend a lot on your experience. everything you do, you need to keep thinking about those three things.

every page, same format. two places you've worked, and an accolade. "Karl is loved by ... book him now "

my quick research shows raspynis have 7 links, passing zone has 8 chris bliss has 6. you need a menu with 7 links. here are your links: Shows ; Loving Clients ; Education ; Past Press ; Video ; Booking Information ; Booking Contact

SHOWS;
there is no home page. the first page people see is the shows page. this has a short - short description of each show in a format like this:

SHOWS
Karl's Circus Comedy Show
download onesheet
watch video
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi commodo, ipsum sed pharetra gravida, orci magna rhoncus neque, id pulvinar odio lorem non turpis. Nullam sit amet enim. Suspendisse id velit vitae ligula volutpat condimentum. Aliquam erat volutpat. Sed quis velit. Nulla facilisi. Nulla libero. Vivamus pharetra posuere sapien. Nam consectetuer. Sed aliquam, nunc eget euismod ullamcorper, lectus nunc ullamcorper orci, fermentum bibendum enim nibh eget ipsum. Donec porttitor ligula eu dolor. Maecenas vitae nulla consequat libero cursus venenatis. Nam magna enim, accumsan eu, blandit sed, blandit a, eros.

The Amazing Cup Dive Show
download onesheet
watch video
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi commodo, ipsum sed pharetra gravida, orci magna rhoncus neque, id pulvinar odio lorem non turpis. Nullam sit amet enim. Suspendisse id velit vitae ligula volutpat condimentum. Aliquam erat volutpat. Sed quis velit. Nulla facilisi. Nulla libero. Vivamus pharetra posuere sapien. Nam consectetuer. Sed aliquam, nunc eget euismod ullamcorper, lectus nunc ullamcorper orci, fermentum bibendum enim nibh eget ipsum. Donec porttitor ligula eu dolor. Maecenas vitae nulla consequat libero cursus venenatis. Nam magna enim, accumsan eu, blandit sed, blandit a, eros.

you should have a headshot on this page, but go to the expensive hair salon and tell them you're about to propose to your girlfriend and you want to look handsome and modern. then, go rent a suit that is modern and clean. You're in the image business. look like you are at the top of the business.


LOVING CLIENTS page::
actually have a big list of the clients by category. I don't care how ugly this is. also, at the top have a downloadable list in word or pdf format.

EDUCATION::
write the classes you've taken and actually make them sound important and good. You need everything and every word to say you are predictable, unoffensive. write in third person and order everything from most prestigeous to least.

having a director is a big thing make it look big.

make all the text on you site text and not images so that people can select it and cut and paste it. it will also help your search engine ranking.

here would be an okay picture of you younger, or a picture of you infront of an institution which it looks like you're actually attending and learning.

PAST PRESS PAGE::
put up some quick blurbs from papers and have more downloadable in a word / pdf document.

VIDEO ::
you should have links to the videos page all over your site once you get really good video that sells you as your three qualities of being predictable, unoffensive and fun. photos of the captures of your videos.

BOOKING INFO::
here's where you really talk highly of yourself in 3rd person. have technical info about the shows, and a very classic headshot looking very safe. Sell it with every piece of your being and have links to your contact page throughout.

the contact page should have no photos, and as much contact info as you are willing to devulge in text form so that people can cut and paste it.
---

I know you and others fancy you as a genius writer. this is the hardest test. first, you have to talk about yourself, and second you have the goal of making money with it by conveying the three qualities that make you you in the minds of the buyers and make you the only choice necessary.

if you do it right, others won't be able to touch the clarity of your message.

don't use vaudeville on wheels. get a new domain name that helps you and that everyone will understand. vaudeville was always on wheels and somepeople don't know what vaudeville is. funcarl.com and funkarl.com are both available. get them both and forward to the same site you don't have to spell it. you're always there.


---
what about the graphics?

the two fonts you're alowed to use are arial (for the text)and good girl for the menu and title of each page.
http://www.dafont.com/good-girl.font

the three colors you're allowed to use are:
(make sure your document is in rgb mode and not cmyk)
orange hex ffaa00
blue hex 00aaff
grey hex 666666
and pure white hex ffffff

across the top of the page is the menu =
item * item * item
in good girl font orange
to the right of that is the accolades box.
below on the left is the page heading in light blue good girl
below that is text in arial dark blue
to the right is the photo of you.

simple. keep your paragraphs short. and your predictability, unoffensive and fun traits blatant.

[scot]

pic

[Schuyler]

I can help you create both images and code for a site if you like. I'm not claiming to be great, but if you give me and idea I can make it for you.