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So much to do, So much time

Posted 12-08-11 at 10:04 AM by Jimbo

Ever feel guilty when you sit around and play video games, take your dog for three sometimes four walks a day, write blogs for hours on end?

I do.

I think it's because I think I should be doing soooo much more. I feel like I have a million projects on the go when I'm working on one of them. This feeling makes me work harder and faster, then inevitably I complete my task. So I move on to another one, or at least I try to move on. Eventually I find myself with nothing to do and I turn to other things to occupy my mind. ADHD.

Granted, some of my project I have to set a time limit to. Meaning I have to stop myself from working on them after 2 or 3 hours. If I don't do than then I risk working beyond my inspiration and then I just create more junk. When I come back to the project the next day I find I have to rework a large chunk of it as opposed to creating more. Does this make sense?

Let me give an example. I am currently writing a one man play about a time traveler. This show is a combination of three elements, magic, clown and story telling. Depending on what mood I'm in I work on a different part of the play each day. Some times I will work on the story element, other times when I learn a new trick I try and find a place in the show to put it and script it out. If I write for more than 2 or 3 hours on any particular element of the show I find I forget about what I was originally inspired by. I go back and read the start of what I worked on that day and try to re-inspire myself. Sometimes it works and I can keep working, however sometimes it doesn't. In that case I would rather stop all together and pick up something else, rather than keep writing only to edit it almost completely out of the story.

That is only 2 or 3 hours of my day, I need something else to work on now. But none of my other projects; variety show, website, Youtube channel, twitter feed, facebook page, and now a blog, are not inspiring me. I want so badly to add to them, but I just don't know what to add. So I wait....for something....

I figure maybe if I go for a walk I will become inspired again and be able to work on something, so I do. Sometimes I do see something that I find interesting and it gives me and idea, but other times nothing happens. The more I look for inspiration the less I find it. Inspiration comes to me in a place of peace and quiet.

Am I just cluttering my head with guilt from not working, and thats why I'm not becoming inspired?!? I KNEW IT, this blog has just helped me reach an epiphany. I just knew that this was exactly what I needed to do.

I just don't know how I can work without inspiration, some people can do it, I just can't. If I'm not inspired by it I'm not having fun with it. You can really see when I'm not having fun with something in the performance of it. It looks the same as everything else, it's filled with stock humor, and i'm just not proud of it. If I'm not proud of it, I wont put it out there, and then I wont be making the steps forward I need to take to be a full time successful artist.

However if I can simply stop feeling guilty about that, than perhaps my work will continue. After all, it's MY work, so what wrong with it being done at MY pace.

Thanks for listening.

I think my next blog will be something about my variety show the Garden Variety Show, and how hard it is to fill all the guest spots.
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