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-   -   H.V. Quenzer Agency. anyone. (

martin ewen 02-04-09 07:53 PM

H.V. Quenzer Agency. anyone.
I see a couple of familiar names on their site and haver just submitted a request for them to take a look at me.

Anyone got any work off them? Any other info?

Mr.Taxi Trix 02-05-09 10:27 AM

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Quenzer has won several awards as the world's tallest midget. He started in Liverpool as assistant petter in "Pfallon!", a domestic cat act, working his way up through the ranks to eventually occupy the coveted position of "wrangler".

Considerable success in this position led him to a sub branch position in the act'e metaphysical offices. Nobody could touch him for his ability to transform simple quiet into dead silence, and for this, he became noted.

Other acts began seeking Quenzer out until eventually, he left the cat act, which fell afoul of some dodgy nip, and began a downward spiral unrivaled until GWB took office. The cats shied away only from the very trying three high at first, but it wasn't too long before a simple tandem meow was out of the question. But back to Quenzer.

Opening "The Agency" with alacrity, deftness, and hushed precision poise, Quenzer never looked back. Ok, he glanced back, but that's hardly the same. He sort of peeked, its not anything like staring, so relax. His eyes were in a forward direction virtually the whole, or certainly most, of the time. That was Quezner.

Staff was no problem after his experiences at Pfallon. Gilette, a long tall supermodel contender, but for an unfortunate mole in the shape of a tiny duck, dead center on her nose, signed on straightaway from Phallon's accounting division. She brought an amazing skill with numbers, sequence, patterning, accounts payable, and verbal brevity (arguably lacking in this post) to the already distinguished venture, and legs that went all the way up.

Wintermesh, an ancient, gnarled dwarf from Oswego, jumped in literally as talent interface. His particular memorability and tendency to wear yellow catapulted the agency right onto the front lines. It was way beyond my humble circuit from day one.

I spent years submitting daily to the agency as a youth. Stars in my eyes, I mailed packet after packet, only coming to an understanding after some time that, given the utter sameness of the daily mailings, the odds of the envelopes getting opened were considerably less than nil.

I wish you better luck than I ever enjoyed with them.

martin ewen 02-05-09 10:33 AM

Hey nice fireplace! :) is it big enough to heat much of the place?

Mr.Taxi Trix 02-05-09 11:32 AM

It does the job surpassingly well, in fact. If "surpassingly" is the word I'm looking for.

Stephon 02-05-09 04:05 PM

They solicited me to submit info. I did. Some time ago.

To date, I am not on their site, and have heard nothing back from them.

martin ewen 02-05-09 06:26 PM

Thom Sellectomy has a tag on here right?
He's not jesus? [I'm sorry but I'm obliged to add, "he's just a naughty boy."]

Stephon 02-05-09 08:14 PM

Yeah, he's on there. In fact, I just went to the site and there are quite a few names on there I know.

I seem to remember contacting a couple friends a while ago to ask if they'd gotten any work through Quenzer, and as I recall not many (any?) had.

jesus 02-19-09 10:12 PM

Mr Sellectomy's listing
I am listed with them.
They contacted me a few years back, we exchanged some emails. Seemed like good folks but I have never gotten a booking from them.

martin ewen 02-20-09 12:40 AM

Event production
Well like most I expect agencies are in shock.
More than half of them will simply dissolve this year and all the 'Talent' contained within them will themselves wither away. [Wistfully and winsomely]

And so the number of smelly men under bridges increases.

Thank you Jesus, I'll say it again, thank you ever so extraordinarily much Jesus.

For hearing my prayer. As it is now two weeks hence and I had emailed them before I posted this and they have not got back to me. I'm in a bit of a market for a curse. I'll have to see what I can knock together from stuff lying round.

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