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-   -   Has P.net lost it's Punch? (http://www.performers.net/forums/showthread.php?t=7000)

Peter Voice 08-23-07 09:14 AM

Has P.net lost it's Punch?
 
Gosh and wow, it's been informative and educational at p.net lately with some fabulously balanced contributions on the legal, practical, theoretical and even etiquette issues of street performing but isn't it getting a little dull?

Let's put it this way, even the spammers in the Gigs section have given up on the porn, viagra et cetera and are now trying to sell us kitchen make-overs, bedroom furniture and real estate in Detroit.

I mean, really?!

Has Martin totally abandoned us for a site that pays mere money for his wit? Was p.net just a passing fancy of Jester's as his broken leg healed and RSPCA considered cruelty to reptile charges?

Has Dr Eric gone straight and Rachel gone drawing?

Have we heard the last of Taxi's verse and the Ramblings of Rumple
As my lousy poetry gets worse and remaining brain cells crumple?

These and other questions raced through my brain as I deleted another spam for "medical needs". This one mostly revolved around various mechanical devices from Zimmer frames to serious and curious prostheses. Viagra seems to be a little postscript at the bottom.

scot 08-23-07 10:09 AM

yes.

Rachel Peters 08-23-07 06:39 PM

do you really want to encourage me?
 
tushy cushion fart bubble robust twiching ear wig tutelage duty doody.
If you were a food, what kind of food would you be???

Don't say I haven't done my part to save this site.

But I really do miss Martin's stuff.

Frisbee 08-23-07 07:39 PM

For a good time spamspamspamspamspamspam

Frisbee 08-23-07 07:41 PM

wow that is really funny...I wanted to post a joke and used a word which when said would be (See Alice) and when i typed it in, my post came up as spam spam spam spam....

How do those bots get past that....

Peter Voice 08-23-07 10:58 PM

It must be part of the anti-spam software, replacing chosen words with the spamspamspam bit when it detects them, maybe to stop offensive stuff coming up. I just tested and it did the same to me. I've not noticed it before and worder why it doesn't do it to Viagra. I'm now wondering what other words it works on.

I've just found 3 more.

The spamspamspamspam thing appears repeatedly in spam posts in "Gigs"

Butterfly Man 08-24-07 01:01 AM

blush, flush red in the face
 
Uh, sorry 'bout the Viagra promotions ... they have been following me everywhere since I refilled that script at the Winnipeg Fringe in '93.

P.S. Fuck Martin ... Fuck Taxi ... who needs 'em.

Jim 08-24-07 01:45 AM

I didn't put the spam filter on for viagra in case anyone ever needed to have a discussion about erectile dysfunction. Some of the performers who post here are getting on in their years.

Peter Voice 08-24-07 01:50 AM

Ah, most thoughtful of you Jim.

I just hope p.net isn't following the flagging fortunes of the flutterby's flaccid phallus. Somebody has to stand up here.

Mr.Taxi Trix 08-24-07 03:13 AM

Re: blush, flush red in the face
 
Quote:

[i]P.S. Fuck Martin ... Fuck Taxi ... who needs 'em. [/b]


you're about to get the chance... he should be landing on your shores with his flippers and goggles right about now.

I thought the call for stilt walkers... "you must own and be able to bring your own stilts for the audition. The audition space has low ceiling. " was one of the funnier things I've read here in awhile, which is a sad state of affairs. Tumbleweeds have been seen blowing through the site of late.

Thanks for the courtesy to us not-so-youngs, Jim.

And just for you, Robert.



There lives an old man from San Fran
whose uncanny companion from Japan
combines sorrow and sighs
in her mistriddled eyes;
cause he goes to the can in a pan.

Butterfly Man 08-24-07 05:38 AM

your chalk has the same polarity as cement
 
Hey Peter (appropriate name, I might add),

Quote:

hope p.net isn't following the flagging fortunes of the flutterby's flaccid phallus. Somebody has to stand up here.

Is that some sort of Australian Dick Joke?


P.S. Taxi ... we need the soil.

Peter Voice 08-24-07 07:50 AM

Hey so I'm named after my genitalia. Many our the male members here are named after other male members, John, Thomas, Dick, Peter, Willy and that's only a few in English. Some of us are named after what we do with our members, Jack, Roger and unfortunately, Harry.

Others are named after their personality, Kurt, Matt, Frank and Ernest.

Some too, Bob, are named after their actions, as they are washed up by the tide.

PS who mentioned Finkel?

Lynneski 08-24-07 09:55 AM

Where's my subscription to "Retired from the Street" News?
 
Peter, I'd be thankful if you wouldn't use the J-word around here. Say it three times fast and you're sure to conjure him (and he's about as welcome as that freakin screaming beatbox sig).

There hasn't been enough going on around here for Martin to even score a point off of - now that's dull. But isn't that what happens every high season (this being so in the Nth hemisphere, January-February being same for you)?

Perhaps it's only Robert and I, in our dotage, and you on another insomniac tear, who have the time to hang about waiting to be entertained.

jesus 08-25-07 09:44 AM

Maybe this will bring back the magic...
 
I have always found Gazzo to be a far more original performer than Robert.
:eek:

Rachel Peters 08-25-07 09:47 AM

wait for it.........
 
Oh, and he wrote a marvelous book too.

jeep caillouet 08-25-07 04:29 PM

no original Gazzo
 
Gazzo's not original! Jim Challini taught him nearly every thing he does, as well as many others ! I know I was around when he was learning from Jim. Oh no there's little Gazzo's running around every where RUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!

Butterfly Man 08-25-07 04:56 PM

Thank You Jesus!
 
I have the honor of owning everything Gazzo has ever written ... his impressive book entitled "Phantoms of the Card Table" is absolutely superb. My only gripe was them giving a co-author credit to that hack David Britland.

Luckily, that didn't happen again on his other splendid publications.

I value my copy of his inconceivable book on heckler lines entitled "Read Between the Lines" almost as much as Danny Hustle values his copy of "Krowd Control", a publication that must have taken Gazzo years to properly research.

I, for one, would like to publicly thank Penguin books for buying the rights to these publications and giving Gazzo six figures and a mini cooper.

It does my heart good to see him reap a bit back from all that he has sown. Truly, I feel blessed to have known the thieving cunt for so many years.

Peter Voice 08-26-07 01:13 AM

You shouldn't read them in bed though, Robert.

Evan Young 08-28-07 12:07 PM

zing!
 
http://www.performers.net/forums/sho...0061#post40061

scot 08-28-07 12:43 PM

ha ha

Richard 08-28-07 12:52 PM

Re: zing!
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Evan Young
http://www.performers.net/forums/sho...0061#post40061
You're welcome...though that wasn't my intent. Maybe someone could move that flame here or anywhere else.

Evan Young 08-28-07 01:19 PM

re: re: zing!
 
hehe, I know Richard, it's hilarious. You wrote a great kid heckler line and wound up opening back up an amazing flame thread!!!! about punching performers!!!! And then taxi said "blow me". I love it!

so, stop being such soft soled mid west flower boy; there is no real reason to apologize, the thread was already soiled. And just for affect, Fuck You anyway. And fuck that Peter guy from Milford OH, he's clearly a raging asshole. next time he comes through Lancaster PA I'm going to hunt him down and punch him in the face!



*Please note implied sarcastic undertones.

Richard 08-28-07 03:36 PM

Hell I never apologized for anything. Just glad to contribute with out having to give Karl another BJ.

Evan Young 08-28-07 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Richard
Hell I never apologized for anything. Just glad to contribute with out having to give Karl another BJ.
I guess you don't like peanut butter as much as I do.

Mr.Taxi Trix 08-28-07 04:27 PM

Both of you, blow me.

martin ewen 08-28-07 07:27 PM

Ta da dum ta da dum,hark yonder blackknight approaches, winny winny [but a really really butch winny winny] [sound of ominous jangling of bits, bridle and stirrups as knight dismounts]

Sun is absorbed into armour creating visible vortex.

Lifts visor.speaks..

"Oh hello chaps,I'd planned a picnic but sadly have no strudel,not too fussy about the quality, any meat here?"

Butterfly Man 08-28-07 11:09 PM

Robert says :
 
None shall pass!

martin ewen 08-29-07 12:07 AM

Heh heh, "look out,behind you" sidestep scuttle.
That easy.

i'm back.

Butterfly Man 08-29-07 04:00 AM

You've been warned...
 
Ouch... it's just a flesh wound.

You are not excused for your wanton abandonment.

The Irish are not to blame

The Chinese are not to blame.

You are to blame.

Shame on you ... you will never see your shoes again.

Doctor Eric 08-29-07 12:48 PM

You guys interrupted my goat porn for THIS?!
 
Really. That's it?

P. Net's lost it's punch, and the only life you stale fuck's can breathe into it is Taxi grunting "blow me" in the corner (not a chance by the way, last time I blew a Karl, I got a staph infection in my cancre sore), and these two old estrogen-addled pussies limply squabbling in the dirt with palsied hands while shooting furtive, and embarrassingly homoerotic glances at each other, fueled more by fear of their own spouses rather than any sort of sexual appeal.

I'm sorely disappointed.

martin ewen 08-29-07 02:20 PM

"I'm sorely disappointed."

What's new? :)

Doctor Eric 08-29-07 02:47 PM

Apparently Martin won't be baited, at least not by a little worm like me.....


JESTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

martin ewen 08-29-07 02:56 PM

Jesters on ignore,the only one. I gave that man the best years of my life.

As with me, life baits you Eric. You+Robert are my bestist disgruntlement engineers.

I try not to devour my own kind.

Luckily that leaves the vast majority of the worlds pop to fuck with.

Doctor Eric 08-29-07 03:12 PM

Now there's an interesting thought.

Theoretically, if you WERE to devour your own kind, and subsist entirely on a diet of your own subspecies, what are the chances that you'd eventually incubate a form of encephalitis known as "Mad Mime's Disease"....?

er, wait a minute... Martin, what the !@#? HAVE you been eating?

Rachel Peters 08-29-07 05:08 PM

I'm pretty sweet. And sacrificial. I'd offer myself as bait, but I'm too sweet to know what to say.

...doody head?

FireNix 08-29-07 07:40 PM

Crucifiction - too good for 'em I say
 
Bah - Sacrificial
Martyrdoms too good (or bad) for you Rachael.
You should be tied to your sheep skin chair and forced to type endlessly. The pain in your arms acting as self-flagellation.....oh wait you are!!..
and self-flagellation's a good thing for the weak at heart Christian, where as most of the rest of us have to pay good money!
(and no im not going down that route again!!)
GET OFF THE LAPTOP!!

Rachel Peters 08-29-07 08:15 PM

(hanging my head)
yes, sir.

excruciating tendonitis........ healing.

and stop spelling my name wrong!!

le pire 08-30-07 12:46 AM

answer to the original question...
 
YES.

etienne

le pire 08-30-07 01:25 AM

since you mentioned him...
 
I know Jonathan will get this... I don't know how many of you stupid americans will:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk8X2...elated&search=

Peter Voice 08-30-07 04:42 AM

"Oh no, pls don't steal his shoes, Robert" I cry whilst wondering if Martin ever played tennis. "It isn't worth the ransom".

PS Etienne, être non tout Américain. Vous savez, vous ne devriez pas intimider des personnes plus petites que vous. Désolé au sujet du mauvais Français


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