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Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-16-07, 10:12 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Pixie you can rant about whatever you want.... ...

Pixie you can rant about whatever you want....

.... just remember to leave the toilet seat UP!
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-15-07, 03:04 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester toilet seats?

What is with girls an toilet seats. Is like every time I go into the bathroom after a gal (at a hotel, my place, her place - the public loos ) the seat is always down. I don't really wanna put the...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-13-07, 02:29 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Ass hmmm

So in order to get your eye looked at you have to make an appointment with someone to make you an appointment.

Of course you need a qualified GP to look at your eye and make the appointment, just...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-02-07, 05:02 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Thumbs Up My daughter passed her exam. She now gets to go...

My daughter passed her exam. She now gets to go to a selective school.

While I don't like eletism, its where she wanted to go and who can blame her. It's sooooo well equipped.

And while on...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 11-23-06, 06:24 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester I hate selective education. I hate the fact...

I hate selective education.

I hate the fact that there is one school which is far far better equipped than all of the others in the area.

I hate the fact that my daughter broke her finger today...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 09-03-06, 02:45 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester Did a gig last night, very posh family having a...

Did a gig last night, very posh family having a party in their big house. I remember the lady who booked me haggled and got me down to 200.

I do the gig. She is stressed but doing her best to...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 06-09-06, 01:52 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester I'm not particularly left wing.. but I think I...

I'm not particularly left wing.. but I think I agree with everything that Martin just said.

I have been very disturbed by the media circus, the parading of a terrorists dead body on film, the...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-16-06, 07:25 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester If condoms were as safe as shrink wrap some of us...

If condoms were as safe as shrink wrap some of us would never have been born...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 01:36 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Ah but you managed it without even trying... ...

Ah but you managed it without even trying... That is a feat in itself.
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 12:20 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
That explains "Dance" music then.

That explains "Dance" music then.
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 12:18 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Ah well if it can't be answered that easily then...

Ah well if it can't be answered that easily then you are an intellectual...

You are one of the liberal elite intelligentia, although you aren't patronising and you challenge the value of...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 11:09 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester Now Listen here Dr Peters with your post...

Now Listen here Dr Peters with your post existentialist, "I may be smart but I am proletariat too" glasses...

Butterfly wanted an answer...

The answer to your question Robert is this:

YES! ...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 10:37 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester Juggling destroys your irony .. and your ability...

Juggling destroys your irony .. and your ability to iron your clothes..
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-15-06, 08:16 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester I have a calcified testicle... I don't know...

I have a calcified testicle...

I don't know what hydroceled testicle is but if it as painful as my calcified one....

Which sounds suspiciously like fossilised to me...

The unicycle is more...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-12-06, 03:56 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester About 7 years ago I was packing up after a quiet...

About 7 years ago I was packing up after a quiet afternoon in Salisbury and a man with three children asked:

"Are you going to perform again today?"

I said "No, but I will show you the best...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 05-06-06, 04:17 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester DO NOT. EVER! EVER EVER give Rachel an...

DO NOT. EVER! EVER EVER give Rachel an aluminuum/alloominum/alloomineeum/ aluminium FRying pan.

The chances of actually causing an alluminium to get hot enough to catch fire are slim, but Rachel...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 04-28-06, 02:59 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Mac owners are the new bikers right?

Mac owners are the new bikers right?
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 04-26-06, 07:01 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester What could little old unassuming me possibly have...

What could little old unassuming me possibly have to say on the subject of telephone call centres in India...

I get lots of telemarketeers from Asia calling me lately. I always congratulate...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-04-06, 04:26 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
What is it that makes you shiver? Canadians? or...

What is it that makes you shiver? Canadians? or Having somebody touch your lips? I'm sure they would wear protective and sterile gloves.

Well maybe not sterile, but certainly the free ones...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 03-03-06, 06:57 AM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester Could a canadian performer please go and feel...

Could a canadian performer please go and feel rachels lips to verify this please cos I am losing sleep.
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 02-28-06, 03:32 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester You've probably got a fungal infection from the...

You've probably got a fungal infection from the knife? Is it the same knife you use to clip your cats claws with? Maybe the blades have got cross infected... Maybe you kissed a moustached artist...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 02-28-06, 01:23 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Those tiny little cuts are the WORST! Take...

Those tiny little cuts are the WORST! Take paper cuts. Everybody knows that paper cuts are the worst.

I once mugged a city gentleman down a dark alley by weilding nothing except a manilla...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 02-12-06, 05:27 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester When you go on stage remember that everybody in...

When you go on stage remember that everybody in the room wants you to do well. They want you to entertain them.

So you need to break the ice. The first thing you do should be to elicit a...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 02-12-06, 04:45 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester When I first started doing stand up I was so...

When I first started doing stand up I was so scared of it I sucked. I had to go through a massochistic series of gigs where I got indifference, cruelty or just plain people talking over me....
...
Forum: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... 02-09-06, 04:40 PM
Replies: 332
Views: 52,966
Posted By jester
Jester There is a company that has called me 4 or 5...

There is a company that has called me 4 or 5 times in 10 years. One thing that always strikes me is they immediately tell me who they are and that they are selling.

"Hello.. I'm... I'm calling...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 34

 
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