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Old 01-11-06, 01:38 AM   #21
Aaron Gregg
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When I feel lazy and the crowd build is tough I pull out the old:

"but sir, you stopped last night with the other lady."

Of course it gets a great response and makes it so hard for me to struggle coming up with my own material. Many stock lines (like jumping and adding 2 balls to the juggle) are corny but the one above works wonders. When I break down and use something stock it really makes me feel stupid working on new stuff - but hell, that's why I do this for a living.

To Jim: A couple times a year I used to use the "what has little balls and hangs down..." but now that I carry a chainsaw I use "oh shoot, I better make sure the saw works - VROOM, VROOM." Now that I have a stock prop I've got original material, go figure.

-Aaron
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Old 01-11-06, 01:50 AM   #22
Lee Nelson
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can someone tell some of the more stupid ones of us the tag to .....

what has little balls and hangs down??

its almost killing me not knowing a stock line, for the life of me i cant work out the answer even though it seems like it should be so obvious
put me out of my misery!!

heres a couple i really like and constantly use variations of

imagine a place without comedy??
Germany/Zimbabwe/Iraq/Nth Korea/National Place of Government etc

use your feet and your body will follow always comes in handy


lee
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Old 01-11-06, 02:08 AM   #23
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Quote:
what has little balls and hangs down??
No, a bat
What his big balls and hangs up?

The silly people at the street theatre DVD
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Old 01-11-06, 02:08 AM   #24
Aaron Gregg
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You say "What has big balls and hangs up." Then hang up their cel phone. What's amazing is people will always give the performer their phone. It's weird how hard it can be to get people to stop and watch but once they're watching - "oh you want my phone, okay."

I feel really stupid when I watch an act along with another performer and I say "Damn, that's a good line" and my buddy says "You've never heard that before? How long have you been doing this?"

-Aaron
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Old 01-11-06, 07:44 AM   #25
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cheers aaron
thats exactly how i felt
stupid and ignorant or this fantastic plagiaristic culture of ours......
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Old 01-11-06, 10:04 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by daisy and derek


imagine a place without comedy??
Germany/Zimbabwe/Iraq/Nth Korea/National Place of Government etc
lee
one time i saw a performer in sydney try to use

"where would we be without comedy?"

and before he could get the nationalistic tag line out
someone yelled....

"watching this show!"
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Old 01-11-06, 10:04 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by daisy and derek


imagine a place without comedy??
Germany/Zimbabwe/Iraq/Nth Korea/National Place of Government etc
lee
one time i saw a performer in sydney try to use

"where would we be without comedy?"

and before he could get the nationalistic tag line out
someone yelled....

"watching this show!"
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Old 01-22-06, 11:34 PM   #28
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Post Useful Lines

To someone asking where to put a tip, in the tip glass on my instrument or in the bucket on the ground with the flashing red light in it: "There are two tip buckets, sir, no waiting."

To the lurker with camera on the outer edge of my circle: "Mam, you'll get much better pictures if you're over here closer.......to the tip bucket!"

To someone who insists on asking stupid questions while I'm in the middle of a routine I'll ingnore him until I finish and say, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to interrupt you.....what was your question?"

To the woman who is very tentative in trying to make a glass ring: "Make your stroke a little longer, mam, as your husband might in the shower...."

(that may be the only original one.... when it gets a its a good one. When it gets a I quickly segue to the next routine!)
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Old 12-20-06, 05:54 PM   #29
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Default stock line

if you can't afford to throw a few dollars in the hat...your laughs and smiles are (pause) great...
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Old 12-20-06, 11:05 PM   #30
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fire-eaters referencing fellatio
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Old 09-25-09, 12:18 PM   #31
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one behind my back, behind my other back, behind both backs at the same time

any one got a lighter? great thanks, anyone got a cellphone or a camera?

dont try this until you get home

i'll never forget the day i switched from doing stock lines to a show that had all my own shit in it...needless to say so much more satisfying.. I still chuck a couple in every now and then because one they are funny, and people in south africa havent heard them before.
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Old 09-25-09, 01:59 PM   #32
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I discovered an amazing thing this summer when watching Pete Sweets show.
Generic lines work so much better in non generic shows !!!
Seriously.
I still love using 'put this foot here, and the other foot heeeeeerrre' ( motioning far away, if you don't know)
It may be generic somewhere, but it ain't generic in Croatia !!
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Old 09-26-09, 07:52 AM   #33
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Stop Gazzo

I think Gazzo's gonna have to learn a new show.Most of these lines are his, he says.
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Old 09-27-09, 03:41 PM   #34
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Stop stock lines key west

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeep caillouet View Post
I think Gazzo's gonna have to learn a new show.Most of these lines are his, he says.
mark and rondini too. They all have such great stories of how they came up with the lines too.

My favorite to hear seventeen times a night is "I only need a small crowd I'm not that good."

"See it now and get it over with."

"I do one show and one show only"
When I hear people comment on this last one I say "No really! He's only got one show. It's all stock lines and gimmick-ed props. He just does it over and over again every night."

Of course there is the always popular "watch this trick."
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Old 09-27-09, 03:49 PM   #35
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haha! man some of these are actually art peices...

I only hope one day somebody will be ripping off my lines...
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