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Old 11-21-09, 02:55 AM   #21
Schuyler
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I have a lot of troubles writing spoken material. I find that I fall into two traps. The first is just writers block. I sit down to write and then I can't think of anything, I have no launching off point.

The second point is that I go for what I find funny and it just gets too weird too quickly. I get the strange feeling I'd alienate audiences with most of what I write. I was thinking about "Where are you from?" as an opener earlier and came up with this as a response...

"Really?! That's so weird! It's just that... well, you know, even assuming you can wrap your head around the staggering probabilities involved in the formation of the universe and the formation of our planet, the fact that small organisms eventually developed complex and varied functionalities and forms so painfully slowly with each successive generation leading to an upright, bipedal mammal without any real physical advantages in its world save an enlarged forebrain that eventually led to the capacity for self aware and rational thought. And then thanks to a freak break in the planets natural cooling and heating cycles the world stayed consistent in temperature long enough for us to develop rudimentary agriculture and then industry and we slowly spread across the world making it our own piece by piece until suddenly we became the dominant species, six billion strong. And out of these billions spread all over the globe a series of people met and had children who would then travel and meet others out of the billions and have more children, eventually resulting in you, your birth, there (wherever they live) and the same thing happened to me somewhere else and we lived two separate lives with experiences and memories until this moment where we've come together and are connected by this piece of deranged theater. But anyways..."
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Old 11-21-09, 09:22 PM   #22
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I like it
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Old 11-22-09, 02:53 AM   #23
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Ironically enough, Emo Philips does a bit that's very similar. To write for the street, just get to the punch quicker, Schuyler, you wrote something, now, figure out what you're saying with it, and instead of beating around the bush, try to figure out how to say it in less words. Maybe you'll end up writing another twist in it, maybe you'll untwist it a little bit, maybe you'll just keep coming up with other stuff while you try to write one thing that constantly eludes you. Just do it.
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Old 11-22-09, 03:14 AM   #24
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Come and try that line out here in OZ.....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Schuyler View Post
I have a lot of troubles writing spoken material. I find that I fall into two traps. The first is just writers block. I sit down to write and then I can't think of anything, I have no launching off point.

The second point is that I go for what I find funny and it just gets too weird too quickly. I get the strange feeling I'd alienate audiences with most of what I write. I was thinking about "Where are you from?" as an opener earlier and came up with this as a response...

"Really?! That's so weird! It's just that... well, you know, even assuming you can wrap your head around the staggering probabilities involved in the formation of the universe and the formation of our planet, the fact that small organisms eventually developed complex and varied functionalities and forms so painfully slowly with each successive generation leading to an upright, bipedal mammal without any real physical advantages in its world save an enlarged forebrain that eventually led to the capacity for self aware and rational thought. And then thanks to a freak break in the planets natural cooling and heating cycles the world stayed consistent in temperature long enough for us to develop rudimentary agriculture and then industry and we slowly spread across the world making it our own piece by piece until suddenly we became the dominant species, six billion strong. And out of these billions spread all over the globe a series of people met and had children who would then travel and meet others out of the billions and have more children, eventually resulting in you, your birth, there (wherever they live) and the same thing happened to me somewhere else and we lived two separate lives with experiences and memories until this moment where we've come together and are connected by this piece of deranged theater. But anyways..."
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Old 11-22-09, 01:38 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Eric View Post
Ironically enough, Emo Philips does a bit that's very similar.
How is that ironic?
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Old 11-22-09, 02:51 PM   #26
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How is that ironic? You wrote a paragraph of existential babble to illustrate your point that when you write, you come up with shit that is too weird, and long-winded.

I pointed out that a very brilliant comic actually does a bit that is almost exactly the same. Emo's a genius. My friend Will Franken also does something along the same lines. Will is also a genius.

My point is that there's nothing wrong with your writing, if you're not acheiving the effect you want (i.e. short, quick stuff for street), that's fine, keep working whatever you write until you get it. Write first, edit later. It doesn't need to be brilliant the first time ink touches paper. It's content. You can work the hell out of it all you want.

In short: Keep writing.
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Old 11-22-09, 02:58 PM   #27
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I feel like I should repeat something from that post about what you wrote:

It's content.

That's all you need.

Content.

Content is malleable. It isn't set in stone. You can rework it, mold it, cut away at it, add to it. You can arrange it at any angle you like, you can lift up it's dress, and paint a clown face on it, or put it on a pedestal and light it from behind. You can do anything you want with it, because it's yours. It doesn't need to remain that specific set of words, because at the heart of it, it's an idea.

So again... Keep writing.
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Old 11-25-09, 09:07 PM   #28
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Huh, it was ironic. There we go then. (For the record, I love Emo as well)
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Old 12-18-09, 04:05 AM   #29
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I think I'll get another piece that wouldn't play well on the street out of my system.

I'd love to talk about, while on stilts, the battle of Crecy, where English soldiers, after marching around France being jerks, defeated a French force many times their size simply because they could shoot arrows farther. In my mind it's the warfare equivalent of holding somebodies forehead at arms length while they try to swing at you. Imagining it done as a very visual stilt walking bit makes me giggle but I'm willing to bet that jokes about the Hundred Years War might be a little bit dated.
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Old 12-21-09, 04:01 PM   #30
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I think (after i saw this french guy perform ,fillip is his name_a-frieken-mazing!) that the best jokes are not spoken anyway, especially for the street, physical shit thats easy to catch is for everyone in any language.

this guy did his whole show in french, but had me in stiches the whole time because each of his jokes (more like gags really, i think theres a difference) had a easy to understand action. for example an over active kid started screaming and he just looks around and does like a needle in the arm thing, okay obviously its not funny when you type it out, but the dude had 45 minutes of that shit one after the other, and all he had with him was a tiny little breifcase with some old toys in....shit...when i grow up....

"In my mind it's the warfare equivalent of holding somebodies forehead at arms length while they try to swing at you." ( i can't figure out the quote thing

Richard gervais did that exact same joke in his stand up show 'animals'

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Old 12-21-09, 08:30 PM   #31
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Damn. Well, back to the drawing board.
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