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Old 01-12-10, 12:09 PM   #21
Rachel Peters
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And if worse comes to worst, plant a kid with cucumbers for arms.
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Old 01-12-10, 01:13 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterM View Post
Well I'm sure it has something to do with precutting the slices 3/4 of the way or something like that. I am certain it is not unprepared as this is used to demonstrate the razor sharp quality of the item. It has been done with swords for sword swallowing and these have to be dull dull dull.
Not really, my sword is rather sharp... one could drop an apple on the blade and the apple would be sliced in half just from it's own weight.
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Old 01-12-10, 01:58 PM   #23
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Ping Pong paddles are sharp, in comparison to the thread-poster, that's not the issue, is MisterM buying my workshop or not?
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Old 01-12-10, 09:24 PM   #24
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That Chinese guy up in Canada does a trick where he cuts a cucumber in half on a man's stomach. He's in the busker movie.
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Old 01-12-10, 10:48 PM   #25
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That would be William Lee? I think?
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Old 01-12-10, 11:40 PM   #26
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You talking about Master Lee? I hear he uses a gaffed sword--something to do with a needle and thread.
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Old 01-13-10, 04:17 AM   #27
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If you have a fresh and crisp enough cucumber, it will easily cut Master Lee in half.
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Old 01-13-10, 05:46 AM   #28
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Damn this is a popular thread, a lot of cucumber lovers out there. Thank you for the replys, all jokes aside I am very suprised at how well this works. Fat hats and all...


P.S.
The personal jab was not appreciated Eric, and I think we should avoid personal jabs when there are cucumbers involved. Unless you have some KY.
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Old 01-13-10, 07:21 AM   #29
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Out of curiosity, what method have you ended up using ?
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Old 01-13-10, 03:33 PM   #30
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Ass Silence by the slice

It was in the early 90's. Master Lee and I were still in our prime... at least he was. Universal Studios had just opened in LA and we were both in the opening ceremonies. Master Lee asked me do the cucumber bit with him as the audience was supposed to stay behind some barrier, so he needed a shill.

We had been friends since the early days, so I knew him quite well and that, well that made him fodder for any evil shit I could come up with. I never imagined the outcome, I swear, I thought it was going to be funny.

He brings me from the back, so everyone knows I'm just another act. I decide to act real scared just to make it more interesting. William is in the zone so he hardly pays any attention to me rather he just keeps popping out street line after street line. He plays me like a pro. Little does he know what I have in store for him.

After what seemed like an hour, five minutes had passed and he had me on my back. Now, with blindfold on, sword in hand and dick jokes over, he goes for the big finale cut.

He lets out his pre-requisite, high pitched, poor Bruce Lee impersonation scream.

The sword falls splitting the cucumber but, in the process, he ever so slightly nicks me on my lower ribcage with the handle. I hardly felt it… but I guess he did.

In retrospect, I guess I was just lucky.

When William was posturing I had slipped a blood capsule out of a thumb tip and stuck it in my belly button. When I stuck it with a thumbtack it oozed out slowly.

Master Lee saw it first.

It didn’t matter that blood wasn’t coming from the place he had hit me.

It didn’t matter that he might have hurt me.

What mattered was the silence. The total silence.


I tried to pretend I wasn’t hurt, which is kinda easy to do when you aren’t.

All you have to do is smile (weakly) and say, “I’m alright… don’t worry about it.”

So that’s what I did, I just left him out there.

What an asshole I am.
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Old 01-13-10, 08:31 PM   #31
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B man you mean to tell me you walk around with a blood capsule in you pocket?Tha'd be like Rachael walking around with a cucumber in her pocket! I don't know 'bout you guys. Think I'll just stay in Key West... where the weird turn really pro!
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Old 01-13-10, 11:59 PM   #32
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I saw Red Stuart get a cantaloupe cut in half on his belly by Berry Silver using a machete from the sword ladder. Was really kool.
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Old 01-15-10, 12:06 AM   #33
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Hey, Butterman. Long time. Too long.

I did a the banana trick a few different ways and I still prefer the thread.

Next, I'm going to put a blood capsule inside a cucumber.
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Old 01-15-10, 06:50 AM   #34
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That was not a personal jab, that was an observation, and your lack of appreciation is unappreciated. And I've never bothered with KY, I just spit on it and go. God made saliva for a reason. That was part 1 in my three part series on birth control and socially responsible eugenics, by the way. I offer it here, free of charge, although I suggest you act FAST to sign up for any additional workshops that may help to complete your life.
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Old 01-15-10, 12:08 PM   #35
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An Eric Cash workshop changed my life.
I participated in the "How to Go From Dud to Stud" workshop, where I pretty much had to reenact all the Sandra D parts from Grease.
It's really helped me in realizing that nice girls are unappealing in every way.

You should hear him singing "Summer Nights", though. It's touching.
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Old 01-16-10, 03:03 AM   #36
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rachel, sorry to butt in but please check your private messages. ta
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Old 01-16-10, 11:57 AM   #37
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well, thank you.
done.
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Old 01-16-10, 07:56 PM   #38
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Should I just bow out or should I ask to see one of them banana tricks...I mean you left your self wide open!
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Old 01-17-10, 04:24 AM   #39
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I have a banana trick I'll show you, just keep yourself wide open for a sec.
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Old 01-17-10, 01:36 PM   #40
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Damn, I left my self wide open, I think I'll just bow out. Makes me think what DO you say to a heckler?
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