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Old 04-12-02, 07:26 AM   #61
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Thanks for the tip Chance, but sadly, it isnt there.

On another note, Matin brings up a good point as to "the worst street acts". At some point in time we were all the worst street acts. I discribe our efforts in our first year of performing as being "the suckyest sucks that ever sucked". It is only through sucking,being bad,making mistakes,and bad calls that we learn to get better. That whole "That which does not kill me makes me stronger." Or in our case gets me bigger laughs or hats. BUT even as we get better we still have those lovely little gems of shows were we accidently pull a drunk onstage, pull the shorts down on a kid heckler who is not wearing underwear, or vomit orange juice on the audience. Those moments that you laugh about now, but at the time, you cringed, blushed, and felt fear that made your testies crawl back up. So what are your WORST MOMENTS ONSTAGE?

[ 04-12-2002: Message edited by: Todd ]</p>
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Old 04-12-02, 12:34 PM   #62
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...good point, todd...

my two worst (or most embarassing) moments on stage...

#1 ~ (from the archives of my 'bawdy-wench singing show' days)

it was a three day weekend at _______ faire - i forgot to pack three pairs of panties for the weekend... so, instead of wearing dirty skkivies - on sunday i decided to go 'au natural' under my bloomers... on this hot & humid sunday -- around about 3pm, the heavens opened up & it POURED rain for about a hour and a half... on my way from grabbing something out of my tent... i got soaked... clear thru to the skin... (which was ok - as we all know 'a wet wench is a wonderful wench...') i arrive at my 3:30 show... at the only stage w/cover & find a PACKED audiance... of course this thrills me & my partner and i are having a rocking show (despite heckling from the 'boy acts' that were seeking shelter from the rain at our stage) -- we get to a point in the show where we both pull our skirts over our heads to look for our 'lost virtue' & typically - i will be walking on hay bales in the audiance & drop my skirts over the head of some unsuspecting patron... so - i'm shaking my groove thang in the faces of my adoring public... and, i'm getting an UNUSUALLY peppy response to this... and, the unsuspecting patron is turning BRIGHT red... whipboy & the poxy boggards(who are straining to get a peek at the action) are practically DYING with laughter...

you ask - what's so funny? well. as i was informed post show... my bloomies were soaked & as i wasn't wearing any skkivvies under my skkivvies... you could see my naughty bits... clear as daylight...

this was far and away the biggest hat show we had at that faire...

moment #2: i pull an audiance member up on stage during our compitition show - to be the judge... my partner is working the crowd & i'm doing a little audiance participant stroking... i say 'you're doing great... the crowd loves you... blah, blah, blah...' he turns to me and says 'i've been eating fire for ten years & i work for harry anderson...'

my response? 'well - fuck... this show sucks then - doesn't it?'

FIREGIRL -- Fierce, Funny, Fearless!

Check out "Mama Said Don't Play With Matches" - coming this spring to a San Francisco theater near you!
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Old 04-13-02, 07:04 PM   #63
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I just finished talking to a trusted friend who related to me the antics of a performer he had seen several times at the RenFest in Larkspur, Colorado.

Seems this fellow portrays a demented begger. Dresses in rags, carries a bucket of water. Trolls for girls in the 7 to 10 year old range. Aproaches, pours water on ground, stirs into mud, rolls in it, then reaches out and daubs mud on the kids feet and ankles.

Kids scream, daddy tips generously to impress his kid! Reportedly makes $12G for 8 weekends!

Then I talked to a hypno therapist who tells me she has clients call her from Hong Kong and Europe for hypno therapy via the telephone!

What a way to make a living!!!

Walking tall and shaking my head!

Bill "Stretch" Coleman
Walking tall and stretching imaginations!
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Old 04-13-02, 10:10 PM   #64
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I sold peanuts at a renfaire one year-- I walked around shouting "eat my salty nuts" and pulled in between $250 & $400 per day.

Once I wound my own finger up in the chain of my giraffe uni and sent blood everywhere. It was in a theatre show so I had to rush off stage because blood just kept pouring. I forgot to turn off my mic and so did the girl in the sound booth so the audience was treated to the sounds of me swearing like sailor as I bandaged up my finger.

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