performers.net forums  

Go Back   performers.net forums > THE GREEN ROOM > BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-28-01, 04:03 PM   #1
martin ewen
Senior Member
 
martin ewen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Trapped-Please send money
Posts: 1,888
Blog Entries: 15
Clown Rumple-The community gifts a nose?

Like many people I have been reading the untethered outbursts of Rumple over a remarkably short time considering the mass of higgildy- piggildy ,topsy-turvy content.
He is indeed a wise idiot.
It appears he wants for very little but the opportuinity to continue being spastic/elastic/fantastic.
However his story of his nose-job and the great impact it had on him touched me as I'm sure it touched you all.
If he were to fully examine his yearning for his old nose back, and come to the conclusion that it above all else would make him a happier rumple.
Then I would suggest that we all chip in and provide some collective cash and more importantly a cover letter that could be presented to the finest nose surgeon in the world explaining who Rumple is and why we believe that in providing his services for a token sum he would be perhaps engaging in the most meaningful rhynoplastic action of his career.
Rumple has a cast of his old one.
All we need is a letter a contact address and someone trustworthy who would set up a bank account that we all put $20 into.
If we can get the doc to do it for free then the money goes to a large party in the country of rumples choosing.
It would also make a touching sunday night tv movie.
Feedback?

To save you time in trying to unearth the post from the mountain of generosity
I've cut and pasted it below.

Here Is My Nose Story!It's True!
===================================
The pinnacle of my clowning misery was getting a nose-job!If you're a clown never get a nose-job!
Here the story goes.........it's a long long long story!
Year's ago(1996)i did a 16 hour show at the Byron Bay Music & Art's Festival & during the show.....i said....just off the cuff"Wouldn't it be funny to meet Tiny Tim?"
Some lady in the audience heard me...& said"I know someone who know's him!"She then said"I'll take you round there sometime!"
She gave me her number & oneday we went around to a chap's house called Martin Sharp!It was quite a coincidence as i collected Tiny Tim records & they were very hard to get!Even Martin was surprised that i had quite a few as they are really rare!
It was funny to listen to Tiny Time(sorry Tiny Tim)on the record player go for hours on end as Martin would be painting an album cover for Tiny's next record....while the music would play relentlessly!
Oh by the way....Tiny Tim.....sang"Tip Toe Through The Tulips",on a ukulele!He had a really big kind of Roman-Jewish looking nose & really cheesy teeth & a really high falsetto voice!He was also kind of big & gawky & would wear weird suits that would be too tight for him!He had quite a repertoire of songs & was infact a musicologist!Tiny Tim got his name from the Charles Dicken's story..."A Christmas Carol".The "Tip Toe Through The Tulips",song become a number one hit for Tiny in 1968!The song was originally from the 30's i think.....as Tiny really liked 30's songs!Crikey!I'm getting off the track a bit here.....now back to the nose!
Are you still with me?
NOw where was i........?Oh yes!For years & years & years i would get a blocked left ear.....& i would have to constantly pop it to release the pressure!It felt like i was always in an airplane or something.....where ya have to pop the buggers again & again!It was hard to concentrate....so i would go to ENT(ear/nose & throat)specialists to see what the problem was!They would say i had a blocked Eustacion tube in my left ear....& gave me various ear-drops & ear-tests & that....which didn't ever really stop the blocking!I thought i was going mad....& went again & again to get more opinions!I also went to allergists & one said i was allergic to mould in the air & i would have to take innoculations which last for an 8 mth period & then more for year's after!It all sounded very expensive.....& i couldn't afford it!
I let it go for a while & then i saw an old ENT specialist who said i had a crooked septum & it needed realignment!He then said i should get a nose job!He was 80 & he was a bit wobbly on his instruments & he said it wouldn't be fair on me or him if he did it....so he referred me to one of his collegue's Dr Pouw(should be Dr Pow)!It was strange also that this old man had lots of Punch magazines in the waiting room.The old ENT specialist knew i didn't have much money(this was when i was 22...still don't any now)so he got his secretary to type up a letter saying"Please don't give this chap too much monetary trauma!"
Quite a few weeks later i visited Dr Pouw who had a practice in Edgecliff...which is one of the more posher areas in Sydney!It was quite a lush setup.....i thought as there were also respectable well off looking types....waiting in the waiting room!In consultation Dr Pouw said to me that i should have my septum realigned & how does"$200 sound!"I thought"God!That's cheap!I usually get a congested nose & also a blocked left ear!"He said for me to come back next week which i did....to get my nose fixed!He seemed as if he was friendly....but friendly can also be astute in some cases!I borrowed $200 from Martin Sharp as i was skint at the time!I was also not so well mentally prepared for the occasion as i was dating a Sth American girl at the time!
When i was in the surgical theatre....he didn't look so jolly as he did in consultation & this sort of gave me the butterflies!I was just about to back out of it.....but he cave me the anaesthetic....before i could make up my mind....& then my eyelids felt like lead & i was out for the count!I stayed the night there & when i woke up i had a cast on my nose!After a week i was allowed to take it off which i did in the practice again!I completely flipped my lid when the cast was removed as it my character had changed overnight...& said"IT was fuckin' awful!"'which spun them out a bit....& the nurse told me"to shut up & give it time!"I told her where to go!Weeks & weeks past....but still i couldn't believe what a fool i was.....as i much preferred my original nose!The one i was brought up with!It was a real natural jester's nose in the first place.It had a natural beak & was a bit bent....but was perfect for the jestery look!Had more dimension!I was upset that i didn't get to fully exploit my natural expression of Creation's design of being anatomically correct!It was a real Head-Fuck to get the nose taken out of your know!
This was the worst mistake i made in my life!I had absolutley no fear of pulling faces as i was before....as i had nothing to hide!Now i have to hide a nosejob.....so i have to wear a nose mask to compensate for the beaky nose i used to have!It's amazing when it comes to expression....what a little off the nose can do!It probably sounds like i'm going on a bit about it......but if you're a clown & you get a nose-job.....you would probably relate to where i'm coming from!It's easier to take away than add!Oh!God!I know it's no good to focus too much on the nose(even though i didn't before in the first place)....but after i had a nose-job...it make me focus on it even more.It was like a Chinese puzzle....& it just felt like i wasn't all there like i used to be!I felt like i'm only 60 percent now.....& really lost the zest in my jest & stopped performing for a year!It was the 16 hour show in Byron Bay that got me back on track again.....as i hadn't performed for a while!I wore a carrot nose!
I know it's not good to focus too much on the nose.....but it is one of the funniest things on the human anatomy & coming back down to your body for a medium for your art....you can use a beak to comic advantage!I became obsessed with this nose problem & drew hundreds of noses & would read everything i could about noses to try & solve this nose problem!It would give me more & more anxiety....& i would see more & more nose specialists to try & figure how i could get my old nose back!I spent much more money just freaking out how i could get my old nose back.....than i paid for the nose-job(so called bargain)in the first place!I have books full of nose drawings!Everything i would draw....would end up having noses in it!Some nose specialists would be surprised that i knew alot about noses & would sometimes worry when i would quote them on techniques....on how i could get my old nose back!I personally think that alot of nose specialists may have the academic knowledge about noses....but don't have the artistic ability to do a good design,well nose job!When you think about it......Michaelangelo can umpteen......5,000 cups of tea & take all the time in the World to create a masterpiece......but a surgeon only has a certain time limit & has to be extremely articulate.....& even so the body is an organic sculpture & can distort in time!I this things like this are amongst some of the hardest artistic puzzles to crack as you really have to be a genius to compete against Creation's design!I really am tempted though......that there is hopefully someone with the ability on this Planet who can put my nose anatomically correct again!
It surely is an easy thing to procrastinate because it's not easy to trust anyone.....when you give yourself over for them to sculpt you!I certainly don't give the nose as much attention as i did when i was 22.....but still i wear a false nose when i perform....as i just don't feel comfortable pulling faces without it!I can do deadpan expression with more ease.It probably sounds like i'm a hyper-condriac about it all......but i just never perform anymore without a false nose!It's kind of self defeating a bit.....as i'm a naturalist.....& having a false nose on....just isn't the real thing!The real nose is much more diverse......& you can switch characters more easily....as having a false nose....more or less moulds you into one character!It's looks more realistic if i affix the nose on with spirit gum glue as having elastic noses....strethes the base of the nose a bit,making it wider!God!There's so much in a nose....it's unbelievable!
I mean the nose is right between your eyes & is the focal point of the face & is the centre(scenter)of attention!It's connected to the pineal glands(have i got it right)& helps channel the chakras.Oxygen the most important element in life goes through the nose....& the nose hairs filter out the carbon dioxide!The sense of smell is also the most neglected sense....& is also very important indeed!I have yet to read the book"the perfume",but will do so!
I mean it's much more impromptu to just put on your jester's hat & then you're already there!Now it's like i have to do a painting before i start my show......& also it takes time to take it off....with the make-up!Oh!Crikey!It sometimes mmakes me feel like an artificial fool as it's much more natural not to wear makeup.It kind of ruins your credibility if you have to always rely on a prop on your nose!It almost defies the purpose of being a stand-up comedian....as not looking funny....can sometimes be more cutting edge....whereas wearing a costume or nose.....is too obvious.Sometimes your costume can work to your disadvantage!I can't wear the costume without the nose!It's really weird like that!Some people probably think i'm a little pretentiuos when i leave my nose on all day.....but it get's tiring having to stick it on & off all the time when there are more shows to be had throughout the day.It's not good to take it off & keep glueing it back on again & again throughout the day.....day after day....so i prefer to keep it on once!It's hard for the false nose to metamorphosis into your natural features...naturally.....so metaphysically you can't get your nose to grow back by thinking about it!It's like at times.....i just fantasize....that my false nose really is me....when i'm wearing my costume....so it's goes with the show!Maybe i should try some Pinocchio affirmations or consult Nostrildamus to see what he predicts about me trying to get my old nose back?
Oh no!I hope it doesn't sound like the Universe revolves around my nose or my nose revolves around the Universe!The jester must transcend the nose(knows)....as we're all just a freckle on the nose of time!Nobody get's out of this World alive....so i shouldn't give my nose too much time....or should i?I know humour comes from within.....well the most important.....is the humour that comes from your heart!It's good to have healthy humour.....but i must admit that if you couldn't see visual comedian's....."How would they...then be funny?"Mr Bean couldn't even be seen by blind people!Oh!What a topic this nose topic is!I could write a Nose Bible....there would be more to write....i'd just keep including more editions with more chapters.
Maybe i can clone my old nose back?I know there is more important things in life,than to worry about your own silly nose.....as there is someone always worse off than yourself.....so i shouln't ever complain about it again!I guess we all do to a certain degree....when we are the subject we are dealing with!Maybe i'll get a honker of a beak oneday.....& then have a slide projection on the side of my nose!A bump is better than a skijump!
I have now collected up to about 150 different noses!I just can't wear them all at once!Perhaps i should do the "Nose Show?"It's a funny effect when you make a nose out of latex & then don't cut any holes out!I then paint it & affix it & the inhalation back to nose go all skewiff...& twisted!It can be a funny effect...as you can twist the nose to any angle & then inhale...& the inhale will take the nose...to your required angle!It's a multi-nose really...all in one!It doesn't get rather tiring though!
The good thing that Dr Pouw(the chap who did my nose-job)was.....he made a cast of my original nose.....so perhaps oneday i get really get my beak back right again!I also nearly lost this cast with this cast of the nose i have now & also othere nose i made(the nose lunchbox)!I left my nose-box in a $2 dollar shop & a couple of days really i lost it!I looked all over the city & eventually went back to the $2 shop by fluke & it was still there in the squeaky crab section(crate)!Absolutely no joke!It's was a complete fucking fluke!God!THe Universe is just too twisted!I have more than 101 nose stories....perhaps more than 1001.....but it would drive you & myself mad....if i told them!There's lots of other things in Life to focus on.....so let's forget the whole thing & go onto the next topic!
P.S.I hope i haven't ruined my reputation now...after this self-centred nose epic?
I just lost my masculine edge.....& now i'm even more feminine!It didn't change the voice though....as it was already like that!That's the history behind my nose!I guess there are some clowns that have made it with a stuck on nose!This has been the toughest lesson in my performing carreer......so i advice all clowns out there who think....of getting a nose job....to think twice....as your body is the most important instrument you can have.....much more natural,diverse & versatile than props can ever be!A secretary might want a nose-job for asthetic reasons...but then again won't have to pull faces for a living....as does a clown!Don't be fooled by $200 bargains!
Quite strangely enough i was at the Tasmanian Circus Festival a few year's ago & i met some girl there that i knew!She was going on..about telling me....she knows someone who could put my nose back right!She said he is also in my art classes as i teach life drawing...& he's a nice guy!She then said"what was the name of the guy you saw?"I said"Dr Pouw!"She said"Oh my God!That's him!"How twisted is that!Twilight Zone!
I do know of one chap that who could probably get it right....as he's the most experienced nose specialist out of all of them....as other specialist's have mentioned him!I have seen him & he seems to be the most knowledgable on the topic...& seems more down to earth...& a World specialist....& 10 times more expensive!Maybe i'll get my nose back in time & then i i won't wear the false noses so much.....so i can be liberated to pull faces again like i used to!It's certainly tempting!I can still wear false noses with different costumes though!I will transcend the jester....but will always have the fool to fall back on...or perhaps i'll just get 101 different jester outfits & put them all in my mobile castle with the steering wheel with all the trinkets & that!Anyway i better go before i could lose this post!That really would be a crying shame after all this typing!See you next time!P.S.I wonder if this post will ever get read anyway?I'm sure there's much more i could write about the nose.......but i better escape the situation while i have the chance!
Mush love to the World & may all good things come true!Signing Off Nostrilstiltskin The Universal Fool Who Knows The Nose With More Sense Than No-Sense!P.S.Inhale....Exhale.....Inhale....Exhale... ....breathing in air of immortality!I won't be bound by this physical body.....I am becoming One With All Creation!The Show Must Go On!
P.S.Perhaps if it hadn't of been for that Tiny Tim connection.....maybe i'd still have my old nose back?Well the timing could have falling into another pattern!I never actually got to meet Tiny Tim.....before he died!I did make an unusual coincidental contribution.....to one of his album's as MArtin Sharp....mixed my sleigh bell's into one of his Xmas jingles!
P.S.All this nose(knows)stuff is turning me into a nose-ologist!Maybe i'll end up nosing(knows)too much....because i'll nose(knows)too much!:Confused:

[This message has been edited by martin ewen (edited 12-28-2001).]
martin ewen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-01, 09:14 PM   #2
le pire
Senior Member
 
le pire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,113
Post

maybe I'm just thick, but I don't understand 98% of what he writes. There is SO much of it that if there is a diamond in there it's going to take a VERY BIG CRANE and a huge excavation team weeks to find it.

The Aligator Hunter was the only guy I've ever heard say "crikey" until I read Rumps' posts.


étienne
le pire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-01, 10:41 PM   #3
Prof Willie B
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 174
Post

Don't worry to much about it, étienne, it's an antipodean thing. You sort of have to know Rumple. The rest of the world don't/didn't understand Norman Gunston, Steady Eddie or Roy and HG.
But you ARE treading very close to sacrilege mentioning Rumple and that other guy in the same sentence. There are moves afoot to rescind the Crocodile Hunter's passport, the next time he sets foot back in Australia, in an effort to reduce the damage this man is doing to our international reputation.

Martin, where do I send the money? At least he'll might get some rest under a general anaesthetic, although I bet some-one will steal his unicycle whilst he's under.
Prof Willie B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-01, 11:43 PM   #4
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Question

Good as yakety-yak,octo-weevle-stint.....sooner or laters...the frog croaked at the friggin rhino-barbaric...so & so until Mr Wow...apeared on the scene.....& tweezed away bristle whiskers of an OopsyWhoopsnaggletooth Axolotyl...crustacean...shell-shocked cuckooed....peekaboo...Fagin..churning out more fleabag-ridden antelopes...to sink into the forever & ever...ughhhh....needless to say.....as much as.....here & there....far,far...away....darn swanky hokey-pokey World of long forgotten wobbling frisbee-saucers.....entering whoops.....& oodles of see you laters...so take it easy & give us cheeesy.....toodleloos......& no-no's....that friggin'...come from nowehere at half past asparagus....to the root of cauliflour....divided by okey-dokey.....sing-a-long...that betwixt.....athwarted....princely pigeon pygmy's that dance the trancedelic.....nights.....through & through.....in sync with the rhythm of the moon...that has just been jumped over by a moo moo....that's.....needless to say.....very,very,very mooey & mumbo-jumboed beyond belief....so ciao & may the,the,the chihauhua's make more chihauhua's!Do i make myself clear?
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 12:43 AM   #5
Mr.Taxi Trix
Senior Member
 
Mr.Taxi Trix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: New York, NYish.
Posts: 1,273
Cool

I queried my therapist, Roz
(amid oedipal rantings of Oz)
"Do we dare play this game?
Are we skew as we claim?
Can we all purchase Rumple a schnozz?"

She concurred without hesitation, and I'm in with my twenty. It would be worth it for me to be able to say to my earthwalking friends (or even crowds)
"I once pitched in 20 bucks toward Rumplestilskin the Jester's nose unjob."

Greedwise, this thing is a moneymaker too. WHAT a documentary... can the 20 be earmarked for proportionate profit share in the final sell out to Miramax? Oh sorry, my thirst is showing.
Its brilliant, Martin.. I would put forth Nelson, Ed Stander, or our Jim as cash custodians.
There are even people outside our little circle who would jump on it. Go boy go, its a cause bigger than you, man.
Mr.Taxi Trix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 07:59 AM   #6
Prof Willie B
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 174
Post

It would also help lots of northern hemisphere readers if they knew something of Martin Sharp and his place in the temple of Australasian art. There are some stories there, by crikey.
Prof Willie B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 10:01 AM   #7
martin ewen
Senior Member
 
martin ewen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Trapped-Please send money
Posts: 1,888
Blog Entries: 15
Post

you can gibber all you want rumple but plans are a -foot.
pray tell, what is the name of the most famous nose doctor you know that all the other nose doctors look up to?

And to the uninitiated, Rumple is one of the most absurd characters on the planet (and even rarer-it comes naturally)
If you set yourself up as a critic of some sort then that reveals more about your pompous nature than rumples careless quality controlless ranting.
My point is that personal opinons that differ from the thrust of this subject reveal only a breathtaking self absorbtion.
Should we care that your not interested in this subject but still find time to proclaim that fact.
I am after a groundswell of support from absurdists who recognise that supporting one rumpled, ragged, excentric who has for years asked nothing of the world but that it matches him in absurdity (its neck and neck), is a project with a certain elan.
Comme ce comme ca doesn't cut it.
It is interesting to see rumple decend into hypergibberish in the face of generosity and affection.
I am off now to privately ask various people whether they will hold the bag.
And rumple again--whose the specialist?
martin ewen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 03:58 PM   #8
Jenny
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Boston MA USA
Posts: 67
Post

Oh I give up!
I've searched this whole site to find the post I SWEAR I read earlier this fall when Rumple was interested in going to school at Circus Oz. At that point, having seen Rumpel in Rotterdam, I thought why not pool together our resources for his tuition?

The Fool of Fools? He is OUR Fool. Entertainer of entertainers. I just got out of Dell'Arte and believe it was really good for me. I felt, if Rumple feels the next step in his path is Circus School, I'm willing to put some money behind that. See what happens! But alas I knew the deadline for Circus Oz had passed, so I kept my little thought posted in my wee brain.

My feeling on the nose issue is that; in addition to being My Jester, I also want Rumpel to be human, including a grave mistake made in life. (At least then I would have something else in common with him.) I'm open though.

To be honest I haven't read the story yet, and I have a HUGE mischevious laughter-inducing distraction here at the moment.
So I'll have to read it later and elucidate you all on my opinion at that time.

Time for frolicking and cavorting IRL. Ciao.
Jenny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 05:28 PM   #9
worldwidese
Senior Member
 
worldwidese's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Clearwater, FL, USA
Posts: 510
Post

Now wait a moment. Before we go giving Rumple his old nose back, I'd like to know if his first nose job cleared up the blocked ear problem. He doesn't say in his post.
Here's the rub - suppose he got his old nose back, and his blocked ear problem came back also? How would we feel? I don't think anyone but Michael Jackson could stand a third nose job!
__________________
The World On A String.
worldwidese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 07:33 PM   #10
Prof Willie B
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 174
Post

Jenny, the post you're thinking of should be on page 11 of Rumples ravings (but Jim, I cant seem to open it, error 404). It referred to a post Rumple made in Alan Clay's newsletter. I've copied it below.

"Hello Alan it's Rumpelstiltskin here in London wishing you all well
and all!! Crikey! Have been doing a few fests here & there! Did
the Comedian's Feast in Romania a few mths back which was fun
....well hard strange fun work! Also did a 24 hr non-stop jestering
stint at the European Juggling Convention in Holland a couple of
weeks back, in the No Fit State Circus Tent. Crikey! I would really
like to do the Circomedia Circus course in Bristol England which
starts in late September but i simply don't have the money! It costs
£4175 for 10 mths! Does anyone have any suggestions for swift
funding or whatever so i can make this course a reality? Please
let me know a.s.a.p if you have any hints!" Cheeers & best regards
Rumpelstiltskin. The Worldly Kangaroo Jester Of Oz! Crikey!
pixiejester@yahoo.com

Regarding the Radicalrhinoreversal funds. Can we just open an American Express Bank account? Then we can make internet transfers or just go to our local branch. Currency would be automatically converted.



[This message has been edited by Prof Willie B (edited 12-29-2001).]
Prof Willie B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-01, 11:39 PM   #11
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

Eek!Eek!Eek!Still after a few days...file 10 & 11......seem to be in the void somewhere......mean-while...keeping...a weazel in suspense with his fingers crossed!I also just noticed quite a few minutes ago that file 6 has disappeared aswell!At least file 10 & 11 have some sort of display(Error 404)....but file 6 is completely blank!What is going on?I've lost over 100 posts!

Crikey!This nose topic might get blown completely out of proportion!Gosh!It takes quite a bit to get ya head around this one!You could get completely lost in the nose topic!Some people....well nose specialists have spent 30 years on this topic & still can't get it right!I think Creation provides the right answer in the first place....as far as anatomy goes....well...i guess that's a subjective view....as there are many different angles to this topic.Well the knowledge i have now....if i had of known back then....i would of been able to articulate myself more precisely in communication to get the job done more wisely!Well i didn't know....i was going to lose my beak....so much on my side-on profile....i just thought it was going to be put a little more straight to re-align my septum to help me breathe better.He did more than i expected him to!It's almost after you've had a nose-job you know what to fully say....but he should of told me.....that i was going to lose my beak!I think that it is not fair.....& i feel sorry for alot of people who have nose jobs who don't like them....because....the surgeon should fully articulate everything as precisely as possible to give people full warning of what to expect!Alot of them just don't have very good artistic ability!I think alot of them should train to be sculptors aswell....& take art classes!When you view their books.....i think most of the time people looked better with their original nose...because there is more character with the natural curvature of the nose.....with an atomical arch!I personally think a bump is better than a skijump.....convex...itstead of concave!Alot of noses in the book just look like that they have got a ruler & gone straight down the line,chopping off their character!I think character is more important than good looks.A clown has to pull faces for a living whereas a secretary can get away with being a deadpan for a living!He should of offered to show me his book of noses in the first place!When he told me how does $200 sound....i thought"How cheap!",as i heard someone say it costs alot more than that!"
If you're a clown....think before you get a nose-job because you could lose your sense of humour!
If someone has a broken nose they can sometimes just get it put back straight again...without losing any of the nose....but some nose-jobs...you end up losing some of your nose.....well i used to have more of a beak!IT's easier to take away than add!If i still had my old nose now...& wanted to get it straightened..for better breathing & not getting a blocked left ear(giving me sinus problems)....i would tell the surgeon to straighten it....but keep all the anatomy there!It makes much more sense doesn't it?I guess the blocked ear thing isn't so bad....& can breathe a bit better....but as far as pulling faces go...it's not anatomically natural!
For some reason it seems that i get more blocked noses Down Under....than Up Over here in Europe....probably because the mucous membranes react different when it's really hot & it's a different climate?
Gorblimey!Nose-jobs are certainly not my cup of tea at all......as i much prefer to be a naturalist.....but to articulate the topic more precisely...it's impossible to put it concisely!THere's so much in a nose!I just hope that i don't spend my whole life on it....as i definately know there is much more important things to be conscious about!You can't dwell in self pity as that's a waste of time....but getting a nose-job....can make you become more fixed on youself...if your character relies on the "Schnoz",for expression(see it's a paradox)!I keep thinking...."I'm going to get my beak back!"It makes you go round in circles.....because it's more Down-To-Earth to be a naturalist...whereas talking about getting a beak back seems....a bit artificial!Imagine if Mr Bean had a nose-job!He'd probably flip his lid!
Oh crikey!I should just shut up....because there are people out there with much worse problems than me!I guess we all dwell on ourselves...a bit...as we are the one's that have to personally deal with ourselves.It can become paradoxical about complaining about the nose....when there are worse problems out there!
I'm not saying that all nose surgeons are bad....as some people can just get their nose put more naturally anatomically correct again without losing any body tissue!
I think all nose-surgeons should fully put this fact forward so people can get a better picture of how to visualize what to expect...before going ahead & possibly losing some of their visual character!
Oh God!Michael Jackson's example.....is the worst example!As i said...this topic really isn't my cup of tea....as it gives me the butterflies a bit.You can't compete against Creation's design....but even if Michael Jackson had of articulated ever so precisely to the surgeon...with clear communication between the two...about getting the job done as naturally as possible....it would of turned out to be a much better result!It's all about communication....well sometimes it doesn't always turn out as expected!Michael probably realises this now!It shows that he obviously has more dollars than sense!He looked fine as he was in the first place....as anyone would agree.....except for the surgeon....who just wanted his money!
I don't want to put in the same category as Michael Jackson!He really went overboard!
All i want is me friggin' beak back....like the real jester's nose...it once was for Christ's sake!
Anyway i'm going to consult Nostrildamus on this as it's a 1 in 2,fifty-fifty thing....whether he can give me the right advice about getting my(knows)...sorry....nose put right?
I'm gonna get that beak back again....so i can get over the hill & get the full(fool)zest back in my jest! P.S.The beak was a bit more cutting edge!


[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-29-2001).]
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-01, 01:51 AM   #12
Prof Willie B
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 174
Post

I was thinking, even if Rumple doesn't want the ytsalponihr, can we start the fund anyway? Sort of a perpetual hat for the Performers' Performer.

ps. in the process of writing this, I've discovered I have the instant ability to spell words in reverse with out thinking about it. noonretfa lla siht htiw gniyalp neeb ev'I. deripsni m'I ,yekirC. C'mon everyone give me some words here, bet you I can do 'em.

Where do we send the money?

[This message has been edited by Prof Willie B (edited 12-30-2001).]
Prof Willie B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-01, 09:49 PM   #13
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

There's nose business like show business or show business like know's business?

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-30-2001).]
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-01, 09:51 PM   #14
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

CCCCCCCCRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! !!!
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-01, 10:02 PM   #15
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

Darf ich Ihnen vorstellen Kangaroo!Ich komme Kangaroo Land!Ich gaukler clown.....Ich bin Australian Alien!
Angenehm:Sehr erfreut!
Was heiSt auf deutsch?Gherkin?Gurken!
Viel Gluck!
Ich bin global Kanguru....ich bin Gans!
Eins
Zwei Drei
Vier
Funf
balle!
Fangen!
Ich Liebe Dich!
Auf Wiedersehen!
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-01, 11:56 PM   #16
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Default

Mr Nosey......came across Mr Sneeze oneday
& then Schnoz was created!
Anyway i've off like a arrrrrrchhhhhhhhhooooooooo....artishoooo.....arhhh ..tissue......so let me sneeeeeze away....with the day!
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-31-01, 01:37 AM   #17
Rich Potter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 187
Post

Um, pardon my intrusion, but

Rumple? You want your old nose back? Why don't you get into your full (fool) regalia, and go to some seedy crowded rednecky Ozzie bar and start screaming,
"Yer all a bunch of poufs! Bleedin' pansies! Cocksmokers! Weasel-Squeezers!" etc.

I'm sure one of them would be willing to rearrange your facial features for free.

--Rich

P.S. I, too, would like to know how your ear's crustacean tube is doing now, post-nose-job.

P.P.S. GooooOOOosE!!!

__________________
Rich Potter
Comedy, Juggling, and
Other Disasters
Rich Potter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-31-01, 02:06 AM   #18
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

P.S.If you read my nose posts carefully you will see quite clearly what i stated about.....a punch in the nose(has nothing removed)whereas...having a nose-job.....you can lose ya bump...as the dorsum...the bridge isn't so prominant as it used to be!
People have joked about that before.....but if you think about it logically it makes no-sense!I'd rather have a nose with a little nonense...(a natural beak...works to comic advantage...just having that bit more zest!More cutting edge!)..than no-sense at all!
Anyway i have to go so cheeers!Gorblimey!This nose topic is too much.....for everyone to get their head round concisely as it really a Chinese Puzzle & a half!
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-31-01, 02:24 AM   #19
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

Crikey!This Is As Much As I Want To Publically Discuss About This NOse Topic!
IT really is ridiculous...but what the heck!THis is my last about me friggin' nose job!There's more important problems to solve in this World & it makes me feel selfish to go on about me own friggin nose!So i will friggin' give up on it & complain about it until 101!Cheeers!This is the nose know story in a little bit more detail.If you're not satisfied with it......i can always write 15 Trillion more words on it!
P.S.Enjoy:
Hello my name is Rumpelstiltskin.....I'm a worldly kangaroo jester of Oz.....who has performed in foolish(full)joker regalia in many eviroments in many different countries.I have been performing mostly as a fool since i was 20.I never used to wear a nose when i first started.Just put on the hat & i was there...ready to go.I originally had a real crooked jester's nose....but due to awkward breathing & a blocked left ear....i had my nose straightened.Unfortunately it was the pinnacle of my clowning misery!If you're a clown......never get a nose job!It could spoil your sense of humour!A beak is better than a ski-jump i think!Well you can use a beak to comic advantage!Perhaps i might get the bump put back in because you can't get your nose to grow back by metaphysically thinking about it!You must transcend the nose.....but when you come back down to use your body for a medium for your art......it's hard to forget about it....when it's right between your eyes!Perhaps i should do some pinocchio affirmations.....& my nose might grow back?Now i use a prop on my nose....a nose mask to compensate for the bump that used to be there!I have a whole collection of noses....The one i mostly use now....has a green bell on the end of it.It reminds me where i am.....wherever i go......i can never get lost because i'm always there wherever i go!The whole nose topic is quite a complex subject!I felt that my natural nose was anatomically correct the way i was brought up with it(creation's design).....but now in a sense...the prosthetic nose has turned me into a bit of a freak of nature...because my character relies on it....so i can hide my nose job when i perform!Some people might concider me as prententious at times as me as a character if i'm always wearing my nose....even when i'm not performing...but still wearing my costume!If the jester costume is on....the nose stays on...because...it spoils the illusion...if i take the nose off!It's like Samson getting his hair cut off!I lose my power...if the nose comes off while i'm in costume!I never had that problem before i had a nose job...whilst wearing my jester's costume!A nose job....shifts your whole personna around....your whole character expression changes!It's amazing how...your whole expression can change over night!It's as if my character had been cut out!I'm a bit of a naturalist so i think it's more body beautiful to be as natural as possible.It's a bit paradoxical for me now?My natural nose(first nose)was handsome enough as it was...& was naturally more jester's like.....now it's more cute...but not such a jester's nose!I kind of feel a bit expressionally handicapped...i mean...a bit of a deadpan for facial expression (without the nose mask which lets me be more of a rubber face so i can hide the fact that my nose hasn't been man-hand-fiddled with)when performing!I wear the false nose to make me feel more secure as a jester character....but it's not so natural as a naturalist organic jester character!I felt more natural with my original nose for comic jestery expression because it was 100 percent naturally me.Now i also wear makeup with my attached false nose...so it looks more realistic for character work.It doesn't nessessarily feel so natural though....if you were to imagine me wearing this nose & makeup whilst going for a swim in the ocean.In one way it's not so harmonious in conjunction with the enviroment....but then again humour can transcend all boundaries at times....so the comical reality of wearing such a long nose in some enviroments can be quite funny for the fantasy of comedy & that in itself is an art!It can sometimes be a fine line between the natural world & the character world.....when being a jester in this theatre of life.It seems that a jester is a philosophical being who's character is synominous with everyday life...where as a clown is someone who performs when they wish!
I much personally prefer to have humourous looks than to be good looking.I'd rather be a comical jester...than a sexy jester!Perhaps people who don't perform for their livelihood....ie..secretaries etc would rather have nose-jobs for asthetic reasons so they can join the culture of body beautiful people?It was a mistake for me...i'd rather have a crooked jester's nose back....but unfortunately i wasn't expecting to have my bump removed!What can you do about it now?I like the idea of having more of a nose....so it's easier to be a full-time fool than having to put the nose on & off(to have that jester character look back)!It means you're alwys impromtu....at all times if you're a character that never has to apply a nose to pull faces with.I repeat....if you're a clown...never get a nose job....charcter is more important than good looks.I guess alot of people who have had nose jobs.....probably preferred their original nose in the first place.....because it was more anatomically correct & also had more character!I didn't do it for good looks at all...i just had problems breathing because i had a crooked nose....& didn't expect to lose my bump in the process of getting my nose fixed!My advice to people who think they can join the culture of the body beautiful just by getting a nose job....should think twice about it....if they don't want to fall into the wrong body category....because it's more anatomically correct being just as natural as you are!I guess some people can get their nose straightened without getting anything removed.That is better i think....because....it's of more natural effect & it's not usually as obvious as having a job done where the tissue is removed!I feel that my bump was partly my cutting edge....it gave me that bit more zest in my jest(I feel i've lost about 30 percent of my comical anatomy)!Characterwise the nose is an advantageous vehicle for comic expression....that's why clown's have always emphasized it...ie the red nose clown etc!It's kind of strange also...because i feel that bump gave me that edge of masculinaty i needed.I feel more feminine without it!I was already quite Yin in nature....so a nose without a bump isn't my cup of tea for my persona as a jester!My nose feels quite petite now.....I'm a bit shy about it.....to perform with my natural nose....so i have to wear a nose prop to feel normal when i perform now!I know i have character with or without a nosemask(well humour comes from within....but it helps to have more of a snozzle for the physical reality of humour)....but it feels much more safe to pull faces with one when i perform because without it i feel insecure....."Where's My Nose!"
I will always have character as humour is within,but crikey,the nose is probably the most comical thing on the human anatomy!It's good to have the ability to perform with or without the nose as a clown.Gosh!sometimes i feel a bit neurotic....a bit hyper-condriac about my nose situation....& don't like to feel superficial about it,when at heart...i've always been a naturalist(like to rhyme with nature's laws)!To worry isn't going to help!I never used to worry about my nose much at all(especially as a character nose)because it was naturally normal,it was the breathing factor that i was more anxious about,not it's anatomy!I guess in tribal cultures people do all sorts of unusual scarifications & so forth!I would feel more comfortable with the feeling that i had of had a nose job for ritualistic purposes!It's a little bit humiliating...when there is no control in the situation!It's not so good to get too personal about yourself...it's good to branch out & get out there & become more one with all people!It's a bit contradictory being a performer & living the contrast of being an introvert & an extrovert whilst expressing oneself with the nose on or off & living between reality & fantasy!Oh God!What to do about the nose?You just have to accept it....& not focus on it...which i guess is easier said than done....when the reality of it is....that you have to use your expression for your trade!It's all such a personal issue & is different for everyone!No-one could probably fully get their head around this nose topic until they experienced it...so then they could become more familiar with what i've been going through(well that applies for theatrical performers mostly)!Oh crikey!Life is tricky being a performer at times!Expression can be an obsession as far as being a performing artist goes....you have to use all what you've got....naturally or unaturally!The face is also the centre of attention(the nose is just about the centre of attention in the face) because you speak through it & look at people's eyes when talking to them!Gorblimey!You must transcend the nose or the universe may revolve around it!
Gosh!It was really bizarre fate that i lost my bump in the first place!I once did a long jestering marathon show in Australia...& met someone afterwards who later introduced me to a friend of Tiny Tim's(ukulele player & singer)!He lent me $200 to get my nose done because i asked him after i saw a surgeon oneday(the surgeon said how does $200 sound in consultation?I thought "What A Bargain!"He had a plush setup in a cushy area of Sydney...& had clients waiting who looked quite affluent!I thought he was doing me a favour!God damn it!He cut me bump off!Oneday i'll get the bump back so i can get over the hill again!Perhaps there is someone on the planet who has the talent to put the bump back so it looks naturally anatomically correct...as it was once!)Gorblimey!Perhaps if it hadn't of been for that Tiny Tim connection...year's ago..i would still have more of a nose now?It's quite ironic when you consider the fact that Tiny Tim had a big nose...& that definately suited his character!The world works in weird mysterious ways!The nose also has quite a connection with the gender even though most people wouldn't be aware of this!Oxygen the most important element in life goes through the nose & also the sense of smell is the most neglected sense.There's alot to know about the nose!Damn i wished i could find that nose book!
P.S.Life is too short to hold back one's inner beauty!We're all just a freckle on the nose of time.....nobody get's out of this world alive!Do what you love!
Crikey!I think i've finished now?Gorblimey!I could of probably gone alot longer....on this nose topic...but my eyes feel a bit like secondhand mothballs now!
Anyway this is the end of this thread...so let's go onto the next topic!I'm exhausted about this friggin nose stuff!Please talk about something else!Regards Crumbleforskin The Friggin' Fucknose What?
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-31-01, 03:18 AM   #20
Rumpelstiltskin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pluto
Posts: 4,128
Clown

Alot of these stories where i have had hassles with the red-necks & that was more of something from my past!Sometimes people can get set off when you just want to express yourself....& liberate your creativity by being a jester!Well i guess Australia can be a harsh audience in some places sometimes....but then again you can get really good friendly audiences there aswell....it's a bit like than everywhere i guess....well some places in Europe seem to be more gentle....as far as crowds go...as they have a strong culture....of tradition for the arts!
Australia is gradually getting more educated....as far as theatre goes.....well it's not as rough as it used to be......7 or 8 years ago!The internet wasn't even in use for the general public then!Oh crikey!Every topic is an epic in itself!Maybe i should strive for some more simplicity as less can sometimes often be more!Well in some cases!We are all so similar in one way & then again very different in others!
I mean people are people....& i don't like to have anything over anyone...& i really wish to have good mutual feelings with everyone i cross paths with.In the end....aggression is just a waste of time....as it's better to follow the path of enlightenment!I guess i should focus on this much more than my nose aswell,but sometimes it's hard to transcend the nose(Knows)!
Sometimes people accuse you of being on drugs when you just want to liberate your creativity...by doing your art!I guess there's alot of people out there that get scared into conforming.....as it can be a pretty prejudice World at times for people who just want to liberate themselves by doing not so usual things!Fuck the fear!
Enjoy Creation's abundance & play with it with healthy humour & liberate things creatively & also with human integrity!Creation is much more exciting than Destruction!What else more can i say?

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-31-2001).]
__________________
Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:16 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.