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Old 12-15-10, 07:59 PM   #1
martin ewen
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Lurk Cops

So I'm on one side of the island and Roberts on the other at present, and then very shortly he's off to another island to perhaps have his neck removed and a universal joint inserted so that he can freak kids out doing Exorcist impersonations at parties for big cash. Parents are finally waking up to the fact that their kids are going to be as fucked up or worse than them and the market for stylized mental trauma is still incredibly underdeveloped. Both Robert and I are pioneers.

Anyway, he'll either add to this or he won't


Cops are called 'The Man' for a reason. In my opinion the majority of street performers are arrested precocious children and very very few of these will ever win a direct confrontation with the constabulary. Keno has, he simply out-witted them, surrounded himself with his audience. Ducking down, crawling out from the middle of the crowd that he'd got to pack around him, picking his moment and running away.
But he was a genius, we can't all be genius's although there's nothing that says you can't presume that until proven otherwise.
You can certainly try to use your audience against the authorities however it's an all or nothing gambit and bear in mind the difference between a battle and a war. You may win the battle, but the war's still probably on.

Also to consider is if it's one or more authority figures. More than one and they'll reinforce each others positions and the rule of thumb is, like a chain being as strong as it's weakest link so to a situation becomes less liberal the more conservatives are involved. Police are conservative by function.
But with the solitary cop you at least have the capacity to go mano-mano in liberal/conservative combat.

I'm not going to suggest any tactics myself. You want to contest a representative of law and order you'll have to wing it on your own. Good luck.

Anecdotal Olympics to follow.

Good cops... Horse riding cop in Glasgow in my first “Fuck it! I'll do it in the drizzle” show.
Rides past with his raincoat on, the bottom half of which spread out behind him over the horses Haunch.
He approached and grinned and reaching back , swept his coat away and patted behind him as if to invite me on. [I was on stilts.]
I made a show of accepting then becoming intimidated by the horse and he simply rode on. I recognised he had given me permission by playing with me and there's nothing better than arriving at a place and having that one potential deal-breaker, the law, put to rest.

Another was in Dublin I met my first uniform as he came up after a show, the street-kids I was employing knew him, there was some respect there I noted.
I explained that I had informally got them working for me, made things easier, pointed out the new lad now with a sleeping bag I'd paid for. Told the cop that I was just improvising with the situation but seemed to be doing more good than harm.
He nodded and said "All power to you then."
Which you have to admit is encouraging.
He then assured me that I had no need to worry generally as even if I could see no uniforms about there were plainclothes looking for pickpockets in my audience consistently.

Bad was Julia, a cop who worked Covent garden where I'd fly pitch. She was just the most deeply evil cop I'd ever met. She's get into my psychic romper-room and stomp on my precious fucking toys.
She'd bail me up and say things like,
“You're just like the people selling ear-rings.”
She passed the guy who was beaten to a pulp and screaming while in a coma in a way that had everybodies hair on the back of their necks risen and merely glanced at him then looked at me and said
“As if we don't have enough problems.”

Cops, mileage may vary

Last edited by martin ewen; 12-15-10 at 08:32 PM. Reason: changed some tenses
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