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Old 12-14-00, 02:30 PM   #1
martin ewen
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Default Thalidmide, how armless are these kids?I

I have information that a terrorist cell of fully grown Thalidmide babies (now in their 30s)have begun to target and maim people who use their own arms exccesively.
They have a particular hatred of jugglers.
If you see someone missing limbs watching your show I would advise keeping your upper body movements to a minimum until they have gone.
Does anyone else have any hints on dealing with bitter, deformed dangerious medical tragedies?
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Old 12-14-00, 06:54 PM   #2
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Martin. Thank you for your public service announcement. I think that if i happen to see an armless man in my audience i'll drag him into our show and make a hero out of him, by spinning a plate on his head or something. Once a hero has been made of him and the crisis averted we can get on with our lives and stop living in fear of armless spectators.
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Old 12-14-00, 07:00 PM   #3
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Martin, It's great to have you back again...

Wonderful.
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Old 12-14-00, 07:18 PM   #4
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Cabals of these terrorist have infiltrated pitches all over the world but I found it's the legless ones you've really got to watch.

I too am glad to see you writing here again. Bring on more levity
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Old 12-15-00, 12:19 AM   #5
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Pssst!

Cool it guys--the Thought Police are coming! Talk about the weather!

--Rich
AKA Tactless the Clown: "Hey, little boy; I see you have no arms...Put 'er there!"

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Old 12-15-00, 04:11 PM   #6
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I hear the legless villians are out to get stilt walkers. Lurk you'd better watch out!
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Old 12-16-00, 03:20 AM   #7
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Warning the terrorist cell has started to use prsthetic limbs to blend in and hide their terrible weapons of juggler destruction.

Watch out for a firm grip, splinters in strange places, and the smell of burning rubber!!!!

CIA HOTLINE>>>>>
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Old 12-16-00, 03:59 AM   #8
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I have personally fallen victim to this evil cabal's plot. Just the other night, in an incredibly subtle and insidious plot, I was ambushed in that most sacred of sanctuaries, my local bar. I barely escaped with my life.

They have made an evil pact with the forces of Gravity and are putting something in our drinks.

After only 9 or 10 pints, people were already saying "Don't worry, the Prof's 'armless" but after another few the evil partnership became obvious. I was legless and gravity was waiting for me to falter. Fortunately I had my trusty bag of balloons and did my "Balloon Vegetables" routine (a very dangerous act requiring special ballons). It wasn't the "Bean", the "Pea" or even the ever reliable "Grape" that generated the levity that allowed me to escape, as much as when I gagged and inhaled a black condom whilst doing the classic "Aubergine" (eggplant to some). Fortunately the levity this created lasted not only until the ambulance arrived but protected me on my journey home (not counting two minor lapses).

Beware! The unarmed, legless people have made a pact with the evil Forces of Gravity to try and bring us down. There is something in our drinks. Some of us may already have fallen victim.



[This message has been edited by Prof Willie B (edited 12-16-2000).]
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Old 12-16-00, 04:12 PM   #9
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Yea and those damd thought police thay can suck my....

yea and it is only raining here, but it might turn to snow by morning
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Old 12-18-00, 09:31 PM   #10
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Raining? aaaah we'r in a deep freeze here in Ottawa. All the snow and sleet has frozen now. It's good igloo building snow now!
I must tell Nanuck to get me some fish through the hole in the ice...

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Old 12-18-00, 10:16 PM   #11
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I'm concerned about the Thalidmide population and how they can respond to this therefore I'm typing this with my nose as I tried it with my shoulders and kept banging my head on the screen.It does take a while with the nose but seeing as I spilt cocaine all over my keyboard there is a bonus.
I ask what has the weather got to do with these poor armless people??
I'm off to find some guerrillas to do an arms deal for them but need some cash to do it please sent all you cash to www.save the stumps.com
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Old 12-18-00, 11:29 PM   #12
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Yes, we are out herE you damned show-off bastards and we've AAAAAHHHHHHTCHOOOOO TaKEN OVER THE cHALK cIRCLE OFfICES and are going to AAAAHTCHOOOOO!!!, damn this flu, Oooooh no , look at that, it's going to stick the keys up pretty baaaaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
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Old 12-18-00, 11:34 PM   #13
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Help, Help we are being held captive. Sends arms. We wil try Ooooh Yukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkk
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Old 12-18-00, 11:37 PM   #14
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Please do not misconstrue this as a flame directed at anyone in particular ... I am simply seeing if indeed this is a kindler, gentler BB as of today ... sniff sniff ...

See any obvious similarities between these symptoms and anyone we know?

1. often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
2. often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected
3. often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate
4. often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly
5. often fails to give close attention to details or makes mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities
6. often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities
7. often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
8. often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace


Those who advocate medicating (armless?) children often view ADHD as a specific "mental illness" with a genetic and biochemical cause. But as the list of criteria demonstrates, it is one more DBD-another way a (limbless?) child gets labelled as a source of frustration or disruption.
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Old 12-19-00, 12:04 AM   #15
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They've gone, an (look guys i'm gonna have o avoi the ahh, I know I'll use a pencil and throw it away. I know you'll all be glad to hear we're safe. They lost it pretty quickly once they noticed Brady's shoes. When you nose is your biggest limb those shoes are a serious problem.
The sneezing was bad enough but when he was sick. ooooh.
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Old 12-19-00, 02:11 AM   #16
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You obviously know nothing of ADD, Butterfly man, why do you keep having a go at my 1o year old kid....
If you want to be sad and read the'guidlines' for Add, why not try a few more positive ones....Impulsivity, ability to tolerate being thought of as eccentric, spontaneity, and little tolerance for boredom, in addition to daydreaming, are listed as identifying characteristics of creative individuals...Given that some highly creative children engage in 'disruptive, attention-seeking behaviour in the classroom, it is not surprising that they are not valued by their teachers as more conforming, less creative students.
Edison trait children have an inventory of positive qualities - for eg. and openness to multiple sights, sounds and thoughts, a daring, wandering imagination, a global perpective (not like you),
These kids are not disordered. they may havea different style of thinking, attending and behaving, but its the broader social and educational influences, that create the problem, not the kids themselves (say....would that include people like YOU)
Add'ers are high-energy people, incredibly good brainstormers. They can work for 15 hours or so at at time by choice. The business communtities should not fear Add, and see the potential goldmine instead!
More and more the concept of ADD as a disorder is being qualified by the inclusion of a string of positive qualities - such as creativity, high intellegence, ability to do many things at once, an aptitude for BUSINESS ENTREPRENEURSHIP, and a powerfull intuitive sense.........
Shame you haven't got any of these qualities! By the way, my son has an extraordinary IQ, probably much higher than you by the looks of things...your attitude stinks mate......
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Old 12-19-00, 04:28 AM   #17
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Excuse me Robert and Janet(Queenie)this is the Thalidmide topic Please start an A.D.D.topic for that dicussion
Nicc.
P.S. send some money to www.stumps r us
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Old 12-19-00, 05:57 AM   #18
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Wow, we got a new keyboards, those nice new curved ones.

Hey Queenie, figure it out, Robert's description fits every single one of us, including you. I for one met every single criterion for ADD, your's and his, as a 10 year old and I still do.

Peters (2), Robert, Brady, Flying Bob, Richie, Cassell, Kate, Adam, Petra, Hokum, Panic, Forrest, Bev, Waldo, Che, Lee Ross, Woody, Livinspace, Karens (2), Brians (2) et al. (sorry to those I omitted, I could only go on so long)

Did you really think we were "normal". For ****s sake think about it for just a little bit. We go to strange places, dress up in public and scream at people to come and look at us.

Take a deep breath and maybe start again.

You might really be at home.

(I wonder where everyone is and why every thing is so clean around here)

[This message has been edited by Prof Willie B (edited 12-19-2000).]
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Old 12-19-00, 08:59 AM   #19
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Wow there's a prime example of IRONY. Queenie commenting on someone's bad attitude. What did Blake say? "We are all mirrors of each other." True enough.
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Old 12-19-00, 11:33 AM   #20
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I take exception to Brian's and Professor Willie's comments on this topic.

Somehow you appear to be insinuating that it is NOT all about Queenie. I dissent from that opinion. It is ALL about Queenie; can't you see that? Every single one of the posts on this board directly have something to do with her.

...and you wonder why she has to respond to every post! Hmmf!

--Rich

Today I shaved a hamster and waved it around while screaming out my upstairs window at an old man walking his dog, "I have tofu! I have tofu!"

That was about Queenie, too.


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